“He kept trying,” I say slowly, the pieces clicking together. “At every activity. Even when he was terrible at them. Even when he was scared or embarrassed or clearly out of his element.” Myvoice cracks. “He always looked like he thought he’d failed. Like each thing proved he wasn’t... wasn’t...”
“Wasn’t enough for you,” Laura finishes quietly.
Oh god. That look on his face after the pumpkin. After the apple bobbing. After the haunted house. I thought it was just embarrassment, but it was more than that, wasn’t it? It was defeat. Like each moment confirmed something he already believed about himself.
That he wasn’t worthy of me.
The way he looked at me in bed. Like I was precious. Like I was everything he didn’t deserve.
Would someone who was just using me look at me like that?
“He never pushed,” I whisper, the pattern becoming painfully clear. “Not once. Every step, every moment, I was the one who chose. I kissed him first. I invited him to the haunted house. I...” My cheeks heat. “I initiated everything last night. He kept asking if I was sure, like he couldn’t believe I actually wanted him.”
“Because he didn’t believe it,” Nelan says quietly. “Males like that—ones who think love must be earned through accomplishment—they can’t accept being chosen for who they are. Only for what they achieve.”
“Wait.” Elana straightens in her chair. “What was the meeting with Rist even about? Did Sutek say?”
I shake my head, trying to remember. “An alliance. Something about... securing an alliance.”
“An alliance with Prince Rist?” Laura’s eyes widen. “That’s huge. That’s the kind of thing that could make or break someone’s political standing. Their family’s reputation.”
The implications hit me like cold water.
“So Khatak came here with something important to accomplish,” Elana says slowly. “Something that could prove his worth—at least in his own eyes. Maybe even to his family.”
“And Sutek was looking for him this morning,” Nelan adds, his voice taking on that gentle, knowing quality. “Which means Khatak wasn’t where he was supposed to be for that meeting. Wasn’t fulfilling the very purpose that brought him here.” He gives me a meaningful look. “He was with you instead.”
Oh.
Oh god.
“He chose me,” I breathe. “Over the alliance. Over proving himself. Over—” My voice breaks. “Over whatever he came here to accomplish.”
“Exactly,” Laura says softly. “He chose you when it mattered most. When he had something concrete he could achieve, something that might make him feel worthy—he stayed with you anyway.”
I stand abruptly, chair scraping back. “I have to find him.”
“Wait—” Laura starts.
“Do you need us to come with you?” Elana offers.
“No.” I swipe at my tears, but I’m already moving toward the door. “I need to do this myself. I need to—” My voice breaks. “What if I’m too late? What if he’s already packing? What if he thinks I hate him?”
“Only one way to find out,” Nelan says, not unkindly.
“Thank you,” I say, looking back at the three of them. “For not letting me hide in my fear. For calling me out on my bullshit. For—” My throat tightens. “For helping me see clearly.”
Elana grins, though her eyes are suspiciously bright. “That’s what friends are for. Now go get your alien. And tell him if he makes you cry again, I’m setting Sutek on him.”
Despite everything, I laugh. It’s a watery half-sob, but it’s real.
Then I’m running.
The hallways blur past. My heart hammers against my ribs—not from exertion but from fear and hope and desperate need.Please still be here, I think with every step. Please give me the chance to fix this.
Because I finally understand. I don’t need complete control or perfect transparency. I don’t need to know everything about someone before I let them in.
I just need to trust my judgment—and everything I saw, every moment with Khatak, showed me exactly who he is.
