Page 109 of Ashes of the Past
She knows better than to push. Instead, she leans in and gives me a tight hug. “I’m just glad you’re okay. That everyone is okay. I’ll check at the hospital to see how Clay is doing, just so we all know. Rick texted to let me know that there should be a seventy-two-hour no-contact order where neither Clay nor Lane can show up here. You know, if someone posts bail or something wild like that.”
If someone posts bail or something—it’s wild that we even have to worry about that happening.
I nod. “Thanks.”
She stands up and heads to her car, and I watch her pull away. Then, it’s just me, the porch, and the silence.
I settle back down in the rocking chair, my gaze drifting back to Brynn’s house. My body hurts like hell, but I ignore it, too agitated to do anything but sit here and watch. Lane is in jail and shouldn’t be getting out anytime soon. Clay is in the hospital, and depending on what happens, his brother could be held for murder.
I know it’s irrational. I can’t shake the feeling that something else is coming. That there’s still a threat I can’t see yet. If this is the only way Brynn will let me protect her right now, then so be it.
My mind drifts back to when she told me to leave her alone. I know that she didn’t mean just at that moment, but altogether. My chest tightens, my stomach twisting with the weight of it. I knew she’d be shaken up, but I didn’t expect her to shut me out completely. And now, I don’t know how to fix it.
I rub a hand over my face, exhaling hard. I should have done something differently. Maybe if I hadn’t fired Lane, he wouldn’t have snapped like this. Maybe if I had kept a better eye on Clay, none of this would have happened. Maybe if I had been faster, I could have stopped it before it even started.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
But the one thing I can’t let go of is Brynn. I can’t let this be the end. I love her, and I know she loves me, too. She’s just scared. She’s pulling away because she thinks this is her fault, because she’s convincing herself that she brought this on by loving me. But that’s bullshit.
She didn’t make Clay or Lane into monsters. They were already broken long before I ever came into the picture. Her actions didn’t put Olivia in harm’s way.
I just have to find a way to make her see that.
I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, and stare at the darkened windows of her house. I can’t force her to let me in. But I can be here. I can wait.
And no matter how long it takes, I will.
Chapter Forty-Five
Brynn
It’s been a week since everything happened, and I finally feel like I can breathe again—or at least try to. The fight-or-flight response that had become second nature is slowly receding. Olivia and I have both seen a counselor at the local youth center and while I still feel like I have a long road ahead of me, talking through it has helped. Rachel and Joanne have been incredible, always checking in, giving me space when I need it, and making sure I don’t isolate myself completely.
And Tabby, man, Tabby has stepped up so much for me at the shop, to cover our appointments or just to help when I zone out or something. I’m not sure what I’d do without her.
I’ve tried to throw myself into work at the flower shop, keeping my hands busy and my mind occupied. I even help out at the ranch when I can, but only with things that ensure I don’t run into Jack. I know I can’t avoid him forever, but I’m not ready yet. Not after the way I pushed him away.
Now, I sit in the corner booth at the café, pushing my half-eaten sandwich around my plate as Rachel stirs her coffee. Thesmell of fresh-baked bread and cinnamon lingers in the air, but I don’t have much of an appetite.
“Have you heard anything about Clay?” Rachel asks.
I nod, setting my cup down. “Yeah, actually. He was officially charged with animal abuse. The judge granted the restraining order for me and Olivia based on the security footage. He can’t come within a hundred yards of either of us.” I exhale slowly, letting the tension in my chest unravel just a little. “That’s something, at least.”
Rachel tilts her head. “More than something. It means he can’t hurt you or Olivia ever again. That’s a win, Brynn.”
“I know,” I say, rubbing my hands together before looking back up at her.
“And Lane?”
“Oh, he’s going away for a long time. The charges stacked up—arson, poisoning, shooting Clay. They’ll be lucky if he ever sees the outside of a cell again.”
Even as I repeat what Sheriff Clark told me, I still feel a sense of unease. It should make me feel safer, and maybe it does, but there’s still a part of me that can’t shake the fear completely.
Rachel watches me carefully. “How are you really doing, Brynn?”
I sigh, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Some days are better than others. Sometimes, I feel okay. Like I’m getting back to normal. Other days, I wake up feeling like I’m still stuck in that moment, waiting for something else to go wrong.”
She reaches across the table, giving my hand a squeeze. “That’s normal, you know. What you went through, what Olivia went through—it was terrifying. It’s going to take time. But you are healing, even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time.”
