Page 103 of Ashes of Us
The buzzer rang, the sound of it shrill and urgent. I jumped, nearly dropping my phone.
Maya had probably forgot something, or came back to make sure I wasn't spiraling alone with my phone and bad decisions.
I padded to the door in socks and sweatpants, yanking it open without checking the peephole.
"I'm fine, I don't need?—"
Liam stood in my doorway.
"Hi," he said.
I couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Just stood there like an idiot with my hand still on the doorknob.
"You wouldn't answer my texts," he continued. "Or my calls. And when I came by the bakery, you hid." He shifted his weight. "So I'm here. Because we need to talk, and I'm not leaving until we do."
CHAPTER 39: PIPER
Ishould have closed the door.
Should have told him to leave, that we had nothing to talk about, that I was done pretending any of this could work. Instead, I stepped back and let him in, which was probably the worst decision I'd made all week. Considering I'd spent Tuesday night eating pad thai while planning imaginary confrontations, that was saying something.
He moved past me into my apartment, bringing the November cold with him, and suddenly the space felt impossibly small. Too intimate. Him in his uniform, me with flour dust on my shirt from this morning's baking, the chocolate-espresso cake sitting in my fridge like evidence of my own stupidity, the ghost of every conversation we'd ever had hovering between us.
I closed the door. Wrapped my arms around myself like that would somehow hold all the breaking pieces together.
"Piper," he said, and his voice was so careful it made my chest ache.
"You need to leave."
"No." He didn’t sound aggressive, just certain. The kind of certain that used to make me feel safe and now just made me tired. "Not until you tell me what I did wrong."
"You didn't—" I stopped. Pressed my fingers against my eyes hard enough to see spots. "Just go, Liam. Please."
"I can't." He shifted his weight, and I could hear the exhaustion in the movement. "Things were good. We were good. And then suddenly you won't even look at me. So either I did something or you're scared, and I need to know which one it is." He took a step closer, then seemed to think better of it and stopped. "Is this about the other night? At the bakery?"
I looked up at that. "What?"
"When I almost kissed you." He ran a hand through his hair, making it stand up in ways that would have been endearing if I wasn't currently trying hard not to fall apart. "I've been thinking about it all week. I pushed too hard. Asked for something you weren't ready to give. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
The apology landed wrong. All of it landed wrong.
"That's not?—"
"I'm just happy to be in your life at all, Piper. Even if it's just coffee a few times a week. Even if it's just you tolerating me at the hardware store while I stare at paint swatches like an idiot." His voice cracked slightly. "I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you again because I couldn't wait, because I wanted too much too soon."
Something hot and sharp twisted in my chest. He sounded so sincere... so worried. Like he actually believed he was the problem here.
But it also sounded like he was trying to manage me. Manage the situation. Keep all his pieces in play.
"So if I fucked this up," he continued, "if I made things weird, just tell me how to fix it. I'll back off. I'll give you whatever space you need. Just don't disappear on me. Please."
The word "please" did it.
Something in me snapped.
"Stop," I said.
He blinked. "What?"
