Page 13 of Ashes of Us
Something flickered across Jenna's face. Relief, maybe, or something else I couldn't read. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn't answer my texts."
I should have told her to leave. Should have closed the door and dealt with this mess on my own. But I was tired and hungover and my entire life was falling apart, and Jenna was standing there looking at me like I was someone worth worrying about.
I stepped aside and let her in.
She walked past me into the living room, taking in the space like she'd never seen it before. She had, though. Twice. Both times when Piper was working late, both times when I'd told myself it was the last time.
"God, Liam," she said, turning to face me. "Are you okay? You look?—"
"Like shit. I know." I closed the door and leaned against it, suddenly exhausted. "I didn't sleep much.”
"Did you talk to her?" Jenna wrapped her arms around herself, uncomfortable. "After she… after yesterday?"
"Yeah. She knows everything.”
Jenna wrapped her arms around herself. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted… I didn't mean for her to find out like that."
"How did you want her to find out?" The words came out harsher than I'd meant them to.
She flinched. "I don't know. I just… I feel terrible, Liam. I've been up all night thinking about it."
I pushed off the door and walked to the kitchen, needing distance. "Yeah, well. Join the club."
She followed me, her footsteps quiet on the hardwood. "What did she say? When you talked to her?"
"We didn't really talk. She just…” I braced my hands on the counter, staring at the coffee maker. Piper had made coffee yesterday morning, kissed me goodbye before I left for my shift.Less than twenty-four hours ago, everything had been normal. "She left. Just packed a bag and left."
"I'm sorry," Jenna said again, softer this time. She was close now, close enough that I could smell her perfume. Something citrusy and sharp, nothing like Piper's vanilla and warmth. "This is all my fault."
"It's not your fault. I'm the one who…” I stopped. What? Made the choice? Kept making the choice, over and over for months? "I did this."
"We both did."
I turned to look at her. She was watching me with those dark eyes, the same eyes that had looked at me across the bar four months ago, the ones that had made me forget everything I should’ve remembered.
"Maybe this is for the best, though," she said quietly.
"What?"
"You weren't happy, Liam. You and Piper… you were going through the motions. The wedding, the house, all of it. You were stuck, I could tell..”
I hadn’t said that. But I hadn’t stopped her from thinking it, from building the story she needed. I’d let her, because it made me feel less like the bad guy.
"I didn't mean?—"
"And now you're not stuck anymore." She took a step closer, her hand coming up to rest on my chest. "Now we can actually be together. No more hiding. No more sneaking around. We can just?—”
"Jenna." I caught her wrist, but I didn't move away. Couldn't seem to make myself move away. "I need to fix this. I need to talk to Piper."
"She left you." Her voice was gentle, but there was something else underneath it… and it sounded almost like satisfaction. "She walked out, Liam. She’s gone. But me… I’m right here."
Her other hand came up to my face, her thumb brushing across my jaw. I could feel the warmth of her body, close enough that it would be so easy to just?—
For a second, just a second, I let myself imagine it. Kissing her. Letting everything with Piper go. No more guilt, no more wedding to stress over, no more having to face what I'd done. Just this. Just easy.
I'd done it before. Four months of making the easy choice, the selfish choice. Four months of taking what I wanted and telling myself it didn't mean anything.
It would be so simple to do it again.
