Page 27 of More Than a Friend
But she looks away, severing whatever connection was there.
“I’ll see you Monday, Aves. Have a good weekend.”
“You, too.”
Sky gives me another small smile before she walks out the door, taking a piece of my heart with her.
I go through my nightly routine, and when I settle in bed, I close my eyes and picture what I want the future to look like.
Skylar is there in every vision, but as more than a friend. More than a platonic person. She’s there, holding my hand as we walk through the grocery store. She’s there, kissing me when she gets home after a late night at the office.
She’s there, in a white ensemble with a bouquet of flowers, standing next to Gus and Zoe, vowing to love me forever in front of our families.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I want Skylar in it.
I just don’t know if she wants the same thing.
Chapter 13
Skylar
This week has been so long,and the only thing getting me through it without totally losing my shit is the knowledge I’ll get to spend time with Ava this weekend.
The prospect of being intimate with my best friend again excites me as much as it makes me want to curl into a ball and cry over how hard it’s going to be to end things even though we haven’t really started.
Friday night with her and the kids was…
Eye opening.
I’ve never thought about having kids of my own. When I realized I’m a lesbian, I put kids in the “when the time comes” column and pushed it out of my brain. I knew if I wanted biological children, it would be costly with a sperm donor or IVF. Adoptionisan option, but the adoption industry isn’t super ethical, and whoever I ended up with would have to be okay with not having biological children.
But Ava’s kids are incredible. Maybe I’m biased because I’m head over heels for their mom, but I think they’re the kindest, smartest, most amazing tiny humans to ever exist.
I would love being their mom.
But it’s just a pipe dream. I’m their cool Auntie Skylar, and it’ll have to be enough.
Leaving Ava on Friday was more difficult than I care to admit, and for a split second, I was going to kiss her goodbye. I thought—hoped—she would ask me to stay, and as much as the thought excited me, it scared me, too. So I left in a hurry and spent the rest of the night kicking myself for ever offering to do this.
I don’t make rash decisions. I think things through. I weigh the pros and cons and make an informed decision based on facts and logic.
Apparently, not when it comes to Ava.
I didn’t even think twice before I made my offer, and now the night has come, and I’m so nervous I’m worried I’m going to sweat through my shirt.
Ava had another therapy session today, but it was during her lunch break so she could pick the kids up and take them to their dad’s after work.
She’s sleeping over at my place tonight, so I’ve been flitting around my apartment making sure everything is clean and perfect. I’m making her favorite dish—steak and creamy pasta—and a bottle of Riesling is chilling in the fridge.
I even lit candles.
Then, I blew them out because this was starting to feel too much like a date. And this isn’t a date. Just two gal pals having a girls’ night—watching shows and gossiping.
Two gal pals who might end up rubbing their pussies together or fucking each other with the brand new strap on I purchased in anticipation of tonight.
Just a normal Friday night.
I roll my shoulders back and try to shake off the anxiety. It’s quite possible nothing could happen anyway, and then I'll have worked myself up into a tizzy for no reason.
