Page 29 of The Nice Guy
“Yeah, I bet no one expects that. But that’s okay. I like surprising people.”
That she does. “Trade school was the only option for me,” I say. “At one point, I thought I might go to a four-year school, but it wasn’t really feasible.”
“Why not?”
“Because I was the sixth of eight kids. Mom and Pop didn’t have the money to pay for me to go, and I didn’t want that much debt.”
“What did you want to study?”
No one’s ever asked me this before. Not even my family. It’s just expected to be a blue-collared man around these parts. “Ithought I’d go into some type of engineerin’. I loved Legos, and I’ve always been good at math.”
“You kind of went that route,” she points out. “You put together really big Legos every day.”
Laughing, I kiss her temple while keeping my eyes on the road. “I never really thought about it like that, but I suppose you’re right.”
“I like that you do something with your hands. You know the meaning of hard work. Everyone I used to know came from money—we didn’t, but Mama never let that stop us. She married rich a few times, and she taught me how to act and talk and walk to seem as though I was born with a silver spoon.”
“It couldn’t have been all bad bein’ with someone who could whisk you off to fabulous places and buy you mansions on a whim.”
She shrugs. “It sounds fun, but it’s honestly so tedious. Everything is about appearances, and you learn early on how to walk on eggshells because those types of people have the most easily bruised egos. I did learn a skill, though.”
“Yeah?”
“I can tell you within thirty seconds of stepping into any room who the most powerful person is. Who the wealthiest is. Who has the most prestige. It’s tiresome because it’s necessary.”
“Now, tell me somethin’ people don’t know about you,” I say as we park in front of her garage. “Somethin’ you keep hidden.”
I want to know Brynlee in a way many don’t. Something she wouldn’t feel comfortable telling anyone but me. Maybe even something she couldn’t tell her mother. Being with her already makes me feel incredibly special, but knowing her better than anyone else would be the biggest accomplishment of my life.
“I have issues with self-worth,” she admits, her voice quiet.
The words stun me, and I turn toward her, making her release me enough to see her face. “You?”
“It’s really hard to feel fully confident when your entire life has been based on outside validation. Constant scrutiny really makes you feel unworthy. Pageants are the worst. My smiles weren’t big and bright enough, or my dress wasn’t sparkly enough. My figure wasn’t good enough, so then I had to change my diet. Did I dance well enough, or did I need to up my lessons? And the questions… The answers had to be as perfect as the talent. Mama only ever found me worthy if I won. Or gained a rich man’s attention.”
“And you feel you’re not worthy if you don’t get that praise?”
Brynlee shrugs and looks out the windshield rather than at me. “Sometimes. My entire life hasn’t been about who I am as Brynlee but how I look. What’s inside never mattered. There are some things Mama drilled into me that I’m working on getting out of my head.”
“Like what?”
“She would have been mortified by how excited I was tonight. Too much excitement is a turnoff. Too much emotion makes me dramatic, so I need to lock up my emotions. If I go above a size four, I’m fat. I can’t be too dumb, but I can’t be too smart, either. Men don’t like extremes.Always have your game face on, Brynlee. You never know who’s watching.”
“I have no idea how you managed to do any of that,” I admit. “That sounds like a lot of work.”
I also can’t understand how a mother could be so critical of her child. Mom was nothing but supportive. Always happy we tried our best.
“It was. It’s hard to break out of that mentality when it’s all I’ve ever known. I just want someone to seeme, you know? Get to know Brynlee. My looks will fade, and I don’t want to be in a position where face lifts and fillers are mandatory to keep someone else happy. I guess I just want to feel safewith someone. Know that what we build isn’t based solely on superficial qualities that can disappear quickly.”
Gently cupping her face, I turn her towards me. “I know I comment a lot about how pretty you are, because, well, you are. But I see that there’s more to you. You know that, right?”
“It’s really nice to hear, Rhett.”
“You’re also incredibly nice. Probably too much so.”
“It’s a defense mechanism, trust me,” she says with a smile. “Everyone assumes I’m a bitch upon meeting me, so I may go overboard with the niceness. I like to think I’m nice by nature, but sometimes, I’m not always sure where my personality ends and the overcompensation begins.”
Licking my lips, I look at hers, illuminated by the glow of the moon. “Just be you, Brynlee. I have a feelin’ that’s more than enough.”
