Page 105 of Facing Off
Nothing like how grown-ups, especially Mom and Dad, always seem to be lookingthroughme sometimes, as if I wasn’t really there.
Okay.
What if we didn’t have to fight fortheirattention? What if we didn’t have to need it, because we had each other?
“Sonya, did you eat?” Quinn asks, leaning closer. “Can I get you anything? Water? Food? Are you cold? Do you need a sweater?”
“No, I’m good.”
We’re in a fancy hotel common area with couches, a pool table, and televisions screens hooked up to an entertainment system. Around us, Team Canada is celebrating with their family and friends. Jokes and laughter fly back and forth, take-out food is being ordered, and drinks are being poured.
It’s the pre-game before the party officially starts tonight.
“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” Quinn asks, quietly ready to jump at the chance to give me whatever I ask for.
“No, I’m good.”
It’s the same, stilted answer, and it should frustrate him, but it doesn’t. No matter how distant I sometimes act, Quinn’s warm brown eyes always stay patient. Like he’s willing to wait for as long as it takes until we get back to being the kind of siblings we used to be.
It’s not that I don’t want that.
If only I could face our past without echoes of pain flaring inside me and take a leap of faith to trust he won’t be taken from my life again.
Because I don’t think I could survive losing my brother twice.
As much as I don’t like to think about them, those days still haunt me.
On the morning of my ninth birthday, I woke up giggling.
I got up and looked at the princess clock hanging by the door. It had the big hand between ten and eleven, and the small hand almost on seven. I counted on my fingers.There were thirteen minutes I had to wait for my surprise, but it was so hard to stand still!
I grabbed a stuffed unicorn and started dancing with it. Ever since I met my brother, my whole life changed.
Soon there was a knock on the door.
I squealed and ran to open it.
My brother was wearing his rocket-ship pajamas and his hair was swept off his face. He didn’t hide his scars when it was only the two of us at home.
“What are you hiding behind your back?” I couldn’t stop bouncing on my toes, excitement lighting me up.
He laughed and pivoted away before I could peek. “Close your eyes first, Sonya.”
Clamping my eyes shut, I waited and felt a small weight settle on top of my head.
“Okay, you can look now.”
I ran to the mirror on my wall and saw the paper crown full of shiny, pretty, glued-on jewels.
Quinn panicked. “Wait—you’re not supposed to cry!”
Tears were dripping down my cheeks. “I’msorry, but I’m so happy.”
He used his sleeve to wipe my tears, then held his hand out. “I know what’ll make you feel better.”
We’re going to the kitchen, and he’s going to cook me pancakes, but first…
“Where’s your crown? I want you to wear one, too.”
