Page 110 of Facing Off
Kavi grimaces on my behalf, then sits again.
I point to her phone and clear my throat. “I want to hear more about your trip. Show me more pictures.”
“Hm. Okay.” She taps her lip with her finger, watching me closely. “I do have something to tell you.”
My back slumps against the couch. I’m relieved, glad the focus is off me. “What is it?”
“I have a problem.”
Never mind. This pit in my stomach grows. “Whatproblem?”
“I haven’t told you about it.”
I reach over and grip her hand. “What’s going on?”
“I’m scared and it’s very stressful.”
“Tell me everything,” I demand.
“Will you help?”
“Of course,” I promise, shaking her hand. “You know that. What is it? We’ll figure it out. You don’t have to?—”
“Do it alone?” Kavi brings our joined hands closer to her. “Exactly, Sonya! I lied. I don’t have a problem. I saidthat to prove a point.” Brown eyes nervously find mine. “And you jumped at wanting to help and got so worried?—”
“Because we’re best friends?—”
“Exactly! So why don’t you trust me withyourtroubles? Because I can sense you’re not okay. Am I wrong? Look into my eyes and tell me my best friend instincts aren’t as good as I think they are, that I don’t know you as well as I do, that I’m making things up in my head?—“
I flinch backward. “I could never insult you like that.”
“Then?”
“You’re my person. I’m so lucky to have you as a friend?—”
“I’m so lucky to have you, but why does that mean we’re not telling each other things?” she asks.
I see hurt in her expression, and it makes my stomach feel inside-out. The thought of losing Kavi suddenly flashes in my mind, and it scares me. Not that I haven’t lost people in my life before—I have. Obviously.
But for reasons I can’t explain, losing Kavi would be painful in a very specific and devastating way. She’s the only person I text almost every day. The one I make consistent plans with and who doesn’t get mad at me when I get busy, because when we get together again, it’s like nothing has changed. I haven’t had her in my life for very long, but from the moment she entered it, it’s felt like she’s always been there.
She’s mybest friend.
I’m shaking my head fiercely, almost scared. “No, that’s not it. Me not telling you about what I’m going through isn’t about our friendship.”
“Then why?”
I swallow, because how do I explain this? “It’s…that as soon as I tell you…” My eyes close. “Once you…my best friend…knows…it’ll become real. And I don’t want this thing…to be real.”
The truth of what I’ve said tugs at me.
My eyes open and I gulp. “I’ve been trying really hard to convince myself that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and be fine. I know that sounds dumb.”
I wait for her judgment, wrapping my arms around myself.
“It doesn’t.” Kavi rests her head on the pillow next to mine. Her expression is so open and caring that it makes my throat ache. “Remember I was in denial for so long back when I was still with my ex?—”
The douchebag, Tyler.
