Page 125 of Facing Off
“Don’t worry, I’ve got another hand to pet you,” says Sonya, shifting a little.
She’s on the couch, too? And my ballerina is going to pet my territorial, antisocial cat? Visions of slashing clawshit me all at once. I’m about to leap into protective action, when I hear the strangest sound.
A long, continuous, vibrating purr.
“You’ll wake him up if you get any louder,” Sonya chides.
“Meow.”
“You know, I must say I like this secret pact of ours. Pretend we hate each other in front of him, but bond behind his back.”
Sonya hums.
“Have you had enough food? Do you need anything else? Water? Just let me know, okay?”
I have no words. I’m melting in her lap. Because my cat and Sonya are friends?!
“I bet he feeds you fancy, super expensive kibble.”
I do.
“You think he’ll like my pasta?”
I want to scream yes! That I’ll blindly swallow anything she wants me to eat, and write sonnets about how it’s the best food I’ve ever had. Each and every time. I’m not joking. It doesn’t matter how it tastes, because it’s already fucking wonderful since she made it for me.
“He’s pushing himself too hard. I’m not surprised he passed out.”
Diana purrs again.
“You know what he needs?”
You, Sonya darling.I need you.
“Someone to coerce him into taking breaks. And yeah, that makes me a hypocrite because if I was given the same advice for myself, I’d bite the person’s head off…” A long pause. “But when I see him do the same thing, it annoys me. Like a lot. I want to shake him and tell him to slow down…”
She sighs.
“Because it’s obvious he needs to take care of himself better. To stop putting everyone else’s needs above his own. That it’s not a competition of who has the better heart,” she mumbles. “But if it was, he’d win.”
She waits a beat.
“I wouldn’t exactly admit that to him, but I’ll tell you, Diana. Your dad’s heart is too squishy.”
“Meow.”
“Good thing he has you. You’re more than a bit ruthless, aren’t you? That’s why we get along so well.”
Sonya sighs. “I should probably stop messing up his hair.”
Please don’t.
“Meow.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t stop petting you. But Adrian—doing this—I should stop. Soon.” Her tone goes wistful. “I thought he was having a nightmare. That’s why I’m doing this. And now I can’t seem to get up again, even though I can’t imagine what he’d say if he saw this.”
I would tell her that my heart is so full, it’s in danger of bursting. This is everything I’ve ever wanted for so long. I want to tell her how I really feel, but I’m terrified.
Because if she decides she doesn’t want me, I don’t think I’ll survive it. It’s going to rip my life to pieces. The hole she’ll leave behind won’t ever close.
