Page 131 of Facing Off
“Even though I don’t know what else to do with my life but ballet, I am…“
The answer stalls in my throat.
“You are?” he softly prods, leaning closer.
“More than ballet?”
“You are. More, baby. So much more.”
My eyes shut. “I should be worthy even in my hardest, deepest failures. Iam—“ Pause. “Worthy.”
There’s more. I reach over and cling to his shirt. Wetness dampens the edge of my lashes. I take a deep breath. “Even if I don’t become…the first South Asian ballerina promoted to be principal dancer, I deeply and fully have to accept myself. I do. I must. There has to be more to what my life means.”
The wetness is a teardrop. It falls straight down my cheek.
It nearly makes me lose balance the way Adrian pulls me into his arms, holding me against him. My cheek presses into his chest as he strokes his hand up and down my spine.
I can’t talk, but he can. He’s not done.
“Tell me you know your frowns are worth cherishing as much as your smiles.” He tightens his arms. “Say you know it’s a gift to know you, to see you, to hear you talk about all the things on your mind. How you’re incredible and a treasure to be around, even when you’re not dancing. You have to know that. Say it, Sonya.”
“I n-need more first.”
“I’ll give you anything.”
“Touch me—” He goes for the side of my face, but I intercept his hand. “Not there. Lower.”
51
SONYA
I guide his fingers down.A whimper builds and grows untenable inside me as he makes contact with the sensitive, almost sore point of my nipple.
He claims the bud as if it’s precious, holding it between his fingers. “You haven’t said it. What you are.”
“R-Remind me again,” I stammer, unable to think or look way from where he’s touching me.
“Repeat after me. I am worth cherishing.”
“I am worth…cherishing.”
There’s elation. Pride. Then Adrian’s expression grows agonized as he cups my whole breast. “Now, tell me you know you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Whatever happens next, you are supported, admired, and loved.”
He kneads gently. “Tell me you know you don’t have to become the first or the best, to be deserving of that love. You are a fucking giftexactlythe way you are.”
“I’m—a gift.”
He groans. His head drops. Stubble marks my neck. “Darling, I think you’re not talking enough for how much I’m touching you.”
“Your fault.”
“Is it?” He chuckles. “Sorry, Sonya. I’ll do better.” His head lowers further. I have no idea where he’s going but jolt into another dimension when his mouth replaces his fingers. He laves his tongue through the material of my top and slowly sucks my nipple into his mouth.
I choke out a cry. My mind blanks. I thought I was wet before, but that was nothing compared to how I’m ruining the thin silk of my underwear now.
I grab the strands of short hair at the nape of his neck and tug. His chin tilts up. My mouth goes completely dry. Because I’m treated to a vision. Adrian, cheeks flushed, mouth wet, this wild look of desperate longing on his face.
Then he glances down, admiring the wet spot he’s created. “That’s much better.”
