Page 176 of Facing Off
“I’m going to cry,” claims Adrian. He’s pulling me against his side, kissing the side of my head repeatedly. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said, Sonya darling.”
I run my fingers over the dark blond stubble across his jaw. “I can’t believe you snuck in to watch.”
He grins, a bit sheepishly. “I didn’t think you’d see me. I didn’t want to be a distraction.”
“You weren’t,” I say confidently. “I wanted you there.”
Our arms are pressed together, so I feel the shiver going through him. “Now,thatis the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Not true.” I frown. “I say nice things all the time.” (Maybe not.)
“Tell them to me later, darling.” He waves an arm at everyone. “Alright, compliments for Sonya! I’ve got a hundred locked and loaded, but I’ll let you all go first.”
To my horror, they actually do it. One by one, my friends and family start chiming in. And maybe it’s not so bad because it’s actually sweet, funny, and embarrassingly kind things. Stuff about my strength, my performance, how proud they are.
Pretty soon, Quinn is shouting to save the speeches for his house because he’s planned a whole celebration there. Everyone agrees and starts heading toward their cars.
Adrian and I hang back, going slower, because I’m busy swatting at him. “I can’t believe you started that. You’re impossible.”
He just grins wider, fingers finding mine and lacing them together before I can cross my arms. “You love it.”
We’re still teasing, still bickering, but my body leanstoward him without thinking. And in the quiet that settles between one breath and the next, I hear the words in my head like a soft, steady truth.
I love him.
They settle into place.
There’s no resistance. No fear. Just this strange, beautiful calm. Like something in me has stopped fighting and finally said yes.
“Hey,” he says gently. “What’s that face for?”
“Actually…” My voice catches. “I have something to say.”
He straightens, instantly alert, like he can sense this isn’t teasing anymore.
“I think I…” I shake my head. “No, IknowI miss you when you aren’t with me.” I take a shaky breath. “And I can’t go a day without thinking about you, which should be insufferable and annoying, but somehow it’s not.”
More words tumble out of me fast. I thought doing this was going to be difficult like it always is, but this time, it’s not.
“You make everything louder, and brighter, and that even if you can’t see it—” I tap my straight mouth. “Around you, I’m glowing on the inside. Enough to explain why suddenly I’m thinking about hockey and wanting to go to every hockey game I can. Not that I wasn’t watching you before, because I was. You’re so happy when you play, and I’m selfish, because I want to be there and watch you be happy.”
He’s staring at me, absolutely still.
“I want to wear your jersey even if I only prefer the color black. I want you to know I believe in your dreams as if they’re also mine, because now theyfeellike mine, too. I want naps on the couch. With Diana because we have a secret relationship,and I can’t wait for me and her to gang up on you. I want to cook for you even if my food is never going to be as good as yours—” I pause, my hand fluttering against my throat, which is moving up and down so slowly. “You’ve taken care of everyone in so many different ways, and I want to be there, and find ways that I know I can do to…take care of you.”
He still hasn’t moved. His hands are frozen mid-air, fingers flexing like he’s afraid to touch me and break whatever this is. His body is locked and his eyes are round and overwhelmed.
I cross my arms finally, with determination. “It’s because…” I take a breath. “It’s because I love you. And I know you probably guessed all that already, but I want to be brave enough to say it. So, yeah. I love you.”
Adrian makes a thunderstruck sound. “You love me?”
“Yeah, baby.”
He chokes. “I can’t get over you calling mebaby, Sonya.”
A rough, shuddering exhale. The corners of his eyes are pinched as if he’s in pain or so happy that it physically hurts.
“I love you,” I softly repeat. Surprised at how obvious it is, and how little resistance is left inside me. It’s all gone.This is what I was afraid of admitting?
