Page 99 of Tragic Empire
“But you know I won’t let my nephew anywhere near the mess I have going on,” I cut in, interrupting.
Leon smiles. “Yeah, that.”
“One day,” I add, lifting my chin. “We’ll get together when this is all over. Ana will love meeting Bas.”
“It’s a plan.”
* * *
Ana
“Oh thank God,” I breathe out, rushing toward the door. Cassio grunts as I tumble into his chest, catching me around the waist. “I’m so sorry. Leon texted Armani that you were with him. Did the picture—did I? Are you okay?”
It didn’t take me long to assume that the photo of Elliot was probably difficult for Cassio to see. I cursed myself for the oversight, and wished I could take it all back immediately. Colton and Armani tried to keep me occupied with a camera search, but I was nearly chewing off my nails as nerves ate at me. And we didn’t even find anything!
“I’m all right, forza,” he mutters into my hair. “I just needed a minute.”
Puffing a reassured breath, I relax against him. I never wanted to trigger Cassio, or hurt him in any way. He was already worried about the lunatic stalking me.
“We’ll give you two some space,” Colton says from across the room. “This whole place is clean, though. Not a trace of a bug in sight.”
“I have no idea how that fucker is listening to us,” Armani adds in a grumble. “But I’m going to find out.”
“Thank you,” Cassio tells them both, watching as they retreat upstairs. Running his hands up and down my back, his lips press into my temple. “Can we talk, baby?”
“Of course.”
We sit on the sofa together, and Cassio takes a minute to compose himself. He looks more nervous than I’ve ever seen him.
“Leon said that we should talk about children,” he eventually says, looking conflicted.
“I know kids are hard for you,” I begin cautiously, fiddling with my hands. “I’m sorry if it’s difficult to think about going to St. Mary’s with me. I wouldn’t blame you, if you didn’t want to come. I would understand.”
His throat bobs with a rough swallow.
“Kids aren’t hard for me,” Cassio replies gruffly. “Babies were difficult at first. Any time I saw one, I saw Angel. But when Jade had the twins, it became pretty evident that children weren’t the issue—pregnancy was.”
Which explains his insistence on using condoms. He’s worried that even with my birth control implant, we could accidentally conceive. I figured he thought it was just too soon to risk it, but this makes much more sense. His fear is deeper thantimingbeing the reason.
Making a small noise, I encourage him to keep going.
“Melani’s pregnancy with Mila worried me, but she already had Valerio, so I latched on to that fact. I convinced myself she would be okay because she had done it before. Jade’s pregnancy, on the other hand,terrifiedme.”
He breathes out a shaken breath.
“I kept fixating on the idea that it could happen to her—what happened to Isobel. They both had perfectly normal pregnancies. They were both young and healthy, too. When Jade said she wanted to give birth at home I thought I was going to lose my fucking mind. I couldn’t watch my little sister die in the same place that?—”
Getting choked up, he cuts himself off, shaking his head bitterly. “There was no reason.No fucking reason, and it still happened. We had every resource, we did everything right. She was fine and then she was dead.”
My stomach churns with an awful wave of grief for him.
“And our son… he was only alive for three minutes. Three minutes. One hundred and eighty seconds and he was gone. He wasn’t sick, he wasn’t even a premature baby.It just happens sometimes,that’s what every doctor said. Every expert and no one could give me a goddamn reason.”
“I’m so sorry,” I croak, whispering the words into his shoulder where my head now rests. “Life can be inexplicably cruel. I wish you didn’t have to experience the depths of its viciousness.”
Cassio seems to deflate, his chest falling with a long sigh. “We’ve both been given a fair share of the world’s wickedness,forza.It’s only right that we try to make the best of the time we have left. Helping out at the orphanage is what you love, and I have no problem going with you.”
Biting my lip, I tuck into his side further. “Do you see us adopting one day? Can you picture it… like you said before?”
