Page 67 of Darkness I Become
Instead, after a long, thoughtful pause, he answered sadly, “Becoming my father.”
Asha looked up at him, and his eyes were surprisingly pensive, his mood changed.
“Why would you become your father?” she asked quietly, reaching out to stroke his cheek. “You’re nothing like you’ve described him.”
He sighed. “Sure, most of the time. But I have his temper. Most of the time, I have a decent handle on it, but every so often…it explodes, like his did.”
“How do you mean?”
He kissed her forehead before responding. “I’ve had episodes of blackout rage before. Mostly when I was younger …before I became a soldier and learned more discipline. When I was fifteen, I put my fists through a wall at school because of a fight with a friend. Got suspended for that one, and my dad beat the crap out of me before my mom could intervene. One of the few times he hit me after I got into my teens.”
He blew out a breath. “And when they ordered me to shoot that Wastelander boy, and I refused. When my CO brought me in for a lecture, I lost it. Screamed at him and threw his desk lamp against the wall. Got in pretty big trouble for that one. If I hadn’t been good at my job otherwise, I’d probably have gotten discharged.”
Asha stroked his chest, comforting, and Cade pressed a kiss against her hair.
“Most of the time,” he eventually continued, “I channel my anger into training, or working out. But sometimes, I still feel it there, under the surface.”
He looked worried about admitting this, as though he thought she might pull away. But Asha was touched, as ever, by his willingness to make himself vulnerable for her. In the beginning, he’d done it to make her comfortable with him…but now, she felt for the first time that maybe he needed her tenderness as much as she needed his.
She kissed him, then held his gaze with hers. “It’s okay. I like a man with a little wrath in him.”
Cade chuckled and pulled her in for another kiss. “Well, that’s a relief, because I have plenty. But why am I the one spilling all my secrets? I haven’t heard you say anything in a while.”
She arched an eyebrow. “When you make me come again, maybe I will. If you’re capable of that, anyway.”
“Is that a challenge?” he growled, and before she knew what was happening, he’d playfully tackled her and pinned her to the bed. “When I’m done with you, you’ll be begging me for mercy.”
“You sure about that?” Asha taunted, a combative smile curving her lips. “I don’t know. I think you’re all talk.”
His eyes darkened. “Keep talking, and I’ll whip your ass so hard you won’t sit right for a week.”
Pushing him gave Asha a masochistic kind of thrill.
“Prove it, then.”
Soon after, she found herself on all fours, her wrists bound to the headboard, crying out as Cade alternated between eating her pussy from behind and bringing his belt down, over and over, on her ass.
She came once, then twice, then lost count, screaming as the pleasure and pain melded into something new altogether. And in the end, she did beg—helplessly, desperately, gratefully, for the one man who could make falling to her knees for him feel like strength instead of weakness.
When they’d finished, Cade retrieved something from his pack and settled back into bed with her. He held a couple of metal tags on a long chain that he draped around Asha’s neck.
“Your dog tags?” Asha asked, and he nodded, giving her a fond smile.
“They’re yours now, darling.”
He spooned her as she fell asleep, and she drifted off with his name pressed against her heart.
They set off again the following day for the Nest. The wagon was full, and they had to drop off the goods they’d collected before heading to the other settlements. They went back the way they’d come, but it all felt different to Asha now. She couldn’t take her eyes off Cade, to the point that he commented on it.
“Eyes on the road, soldier,” he teased her. “Be vigilant. You don’t know what could be around the bend.”
He wasn’t wrong, but all she could feel was his dog tags that she still wore under her clothes. After walking most of the morning, Asha spotted a rising spiral of black smoke in the distance. Cade gave the order to stop, frowning up at it.
“What is it?” Asha asked, wondering if this was usual on these trips.
“Don’t know,” Cade replied, still staring at the smoke. “But it looks like it’s coming from Applegate.”
“Applegate?”
