Page 50 of Darkness I Become
“Will he be alright?” she asked, worry creeping back in.
Leo took a moment to respond as he examined Cade.
“He should be,” he finally said. “I’ll give him some cannabis to chew, which may take the edge off the pain, but probably won’t resolve his symptoms. The only thing that will is time, I’m afraid.”
Poor Cade,Asha found herself thinking, then wondered what was wrong with her. She’d never thought such a thing in her life.Sympathy and empathy are dangerous weaknesses, her father’s voice whispered in her ear.They allow a drowning person to drag you down with them.
But she cared for Cade. Somehow, this battered soldier had shown her more humanity than her administrator father ever had. So, while Leo continued his physical exam, she gathered up one of the washcloths they used for bathing and cleaned up Cade’s vomit from the floor of the tent. She went out to the stream and washed it, then hung it up on a tree branch. The Blackguard were mostly awake now, and there were mutters through the camp that Asha interpreted as wondering about their Captain’s condition.
When she returned, Leo said to her, “I’ve done what I can. He’s taken the cannabis; he just needs to rest now. Maybe you should go—”
“No,” Cade mumbled from under his arm. “Stay, Asha. Sit with me.”
Five minutes ago, he was sending her away, and now he was ordering her to stay? Asha huffed, but she couldn’t suppress a small smile.
“I’m fine to stay with him,” she said to Leo, trying to sound nonchalant. “You can go back to…whatever you were doing.”
There was a smothered giggle at the end of her sentence, and Leo shot her a censorious look before leaving, telling her to call him if something changed.
“This is very dramatic,” Asha said casually, sitting next to Cade. “The men probably think you’re dying.”
“Thanks for your concern,” Cade replied sarcastically, and Asha saw him flinch with pain again. “You definitely missed your calling as a doctor. That bedside manner? Ten out of ten.”
She couldn’t help laughing, but…shewasconcerned about him. More than she ever thought she would be.
“How bad is it?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands. “What’s it feel like?”
He made a huffing sound. “Like my head is being crushed by a military truck that keeps running over it, and every time I try to open my eyes, it has little daggers on the wheels that stab into my eye sockets, just for fun.”
Asha winced. “Well, that’s vivid.”
She hesitated before kneeling beside his head.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go?” she asked, gentling her tone. “Leo said you’re sensitive to sound, so maybe it’s better to leave you alone.”
“No,” he gritted out. “I don’t want to be alone. I…like the sound of your voice, darling. Even when it hurts.”
Oddly touched by that, Asha said, “We should at least try to make you more comfortable, then.”
She retrieved another washcloth from her bag and went to soak it in the stream. In the blazing heat of July, the water wasn’t cold, but it was better than nothing. When she returned to Cade’s side, she rolled up the cloth, and before he could protest, lifted his arm off his eyes. She placed the cool cloth over his eyelids and his arm at his side.
He gave a shallow sigh, the smallest sign of relief, and thanked her. Asha relaxed a little; she hadn’t realized her shoulders had been up near her ears. She wanted to ease more of his pain if she could. Before she could question the wisdom of such a thing, she scooted closer to him and lifted his head into her lap.
“What’re you doing?” he asked in surprise.
“Shut up,” she replied nervously, and he laughed, but didn’t pull away.
Asha took a breath and laid her hands on his head. His hair, cropped so short, was prickly against her skin. He was warmer and softer than she would’ve imagined, for some reason. Maybe because he alwayslookedso intense, and his frown and his tattoos gave him a hardlook. But his skin was smooth and pliable, and as clear and unmarked as her own.
With the tips of her fingers, she tentatively began to knead his temples. His long groan told her that it brought him additional relief…and stirred something between her legs. She bit her lip and chose to ignore the flutters in her stomach.
“Is that good?” she asked as she kneaded lower, onto his jaw. “You’re clenched up as tight as I always imagined your asshole was during drills.”
Cade laughed again, relaxing into her lap. “All that tells me is that you’ve been thinking about my asshole, darling.”
Asha clucked her tongue in disapproval. “You know, for a soldier, you’re surprisingly undisciplined,Captain.”
“Only with you, it seems,” he said with a small smile. She could feel his muscles slackening under her touch, which she took as a good sign. “The only time I’ve ever impulsively rushed a slave market was when I saw you there.”
