Page 17 of Cookout Carnage
I stumble over my damn words with this devil woman in front of me. She pokes my stomach, and I wince. Not because it hurts but because it used to hurt when I thought about her. All the fucking time. Tanya was only ever a distraction to staunch the pain. And now she wants to pretend it wasn’t some circle of hell to be apart. That all can be forgiven now I’m not in the Navy anymore. Or that, better yet, to pick up exactly where she wants and ignore all that’s happened without one another.
I shake my head loose of thoughts of touches long gone. “Well, darling, time for you to scoot along. I’ve got places to be.” Her face gets dopey sweet as I call her darling. I didn’t mean to. It slipped out. I’d love to talk to my best friend about all that’s gone down in the last twenty-four hours, but she’s the one person I can’t.
The windows are down, and I know when she pulls out of here, her stupid hair is going to go flying as well as my heart.
I stick my head in the passenger window. I can’t wait to find out some things. “Jules. I know this look. You’re not in charge here, and you can’t be serious. I’m just out of an engagement. It’s the wrong time. Don’t you have a boyfriend and a house far away from here? You chose him. We can’t do this.” My insides burn as I say it.
She cocks her head, and the sun is at her back. Fucking sun. It’s as if she paid it to give her good lighting. The sun is her own personal ring light right now. Fucking perfect cheekbones and her soulful deep brown eyes. Dammit. This is not the moment for my breath to be stolen. Fuck.
“Jon. Jonathan. My Jonathan.” I clear my throat. She nods that she understands that I’m not hers yet. “That last sentence was riddled with lies.”
“How so, Dexter-Haven?” My heart and body are all muscle memory right now. She’s been a phantom pain for the last eight years, but suddenly, I could touch her if I reached out to scratch that itch.
She smirks and bats her lashes. I laugh. She thought that was the most feminine thing you could do when she was little.
Her voice is silky smooth and as confident as I know her to be. She puts up five fingers. She loves a list.
“1. It’s not my sister’s café. It’s ours, and we’re going to run it together.
2. I live here now.
3. You weren’t in love with her. It is the right time.
4. I ditched the boyfriend.”
“Why?” I am jarred by this.
“For reason number five.”
“What’s number five?” I purse my lips at her.
“We are doing this. And not for a minute, a second, or a year. Forever.”
My brain is cold spaghetti all stuck to itself. Between her words and smell and that damn fucking smooth hair.
I say, “We’re not doing this. I can’t, not right now. I need you to go. It’s too complicated. I can’t trust myself, let alone you. Your list is nice, but why are you actually here, Jules?”
“Did you take too many hits on the O-line? Keep up. I’m in love with you. I’ve got nowhere else I want to be. I’m here to blow your shit up. And if you didn’t block me, none of this would be surprising. See ya.”
She pulls away as my mouth remains hanging as low as it can. What just happened? I pick up my phone and start mashing the front of it.
JONATHAN: TABITHA! Tabi. Holy fucking shit. Tabi. Did I call Juliet from the airport? She was hotter than hell standing in my driveway today. Played a message, I don’t remember leaving, and then, sure enough, she mentioned your name, Tabi. Did you dial-up my ex?
TRISTAN: Yes. She did.
SABRINA: Um. Yeah. We were all there.
RORY: You did leave a message, mate. You told us you did while you were sitting on the tarmac. Something about soulmates and all that rubbish.
BEN: Hey. How is everyone? And, Jonathan, you loveable lump, yes you did. And it was quite the profession of love. You told us what you said. Laurie says hello. Big day tomorrow, huh, Jonathan?
JONATHAN: NO, BEN. Keep up. Not getting married. Juliet is here and wants me back. WHY DIDN’T people TELL ME about the call?
BEN: We assumed you knew your own actions.
JONATHAN: That was essentially cheating, not that it matters anymore.
TRISTAN: I’ve got a whole heap of shit going on right now. I’m so freaking confused. I’ll check in later. So, there’s no wedding?
