Page 31 of Cookout Carnage
RORY: Good morning all.
TABI: You’re too chipper. Did you get laid?
RORY: None of your business, and yes.
JONATHAN: {Photo of Juliet with wine}
TABI: Tell me that’s Juliet holding my babies?
JONATHAN: Drought is over! 3xs.
BEN: Huzzah!
JONATHAN: {Photo of Tanya in the green dress} This is Tanya’s rehearsal dinner dress.
BEN: What rehearsal dinner?
JONATHAN: The one she threw and forgot to tell me. Without a vegetarian option. Long story. Tell you later. But everything is good now.
TRISTAN: Wow. That is a lot of bright green. Wait, am I still needed tomorrow?
JONATHAN: No.
BEN: She couldn’t even provide a veggie burger for the groom. I mean it is your party.
SABRINA: Let’s focus on the half-naked hottie in Jonathan’s shirt. YEAH!!! And she loves you?
BEN: That’s some bloody good news.
JONATHAN: It is. And she does. And I do her. It’s always been. Tris—why not meet us at CK’s for breakfast around 10? I’ll introduce you to the greatest waffles on the planet. And Jules.
TRISTAN: That sounds better than a wedding none of us wanted to see happen. I’ll be there, my friend. But I have to go now. Night all.
JONATHAN: Now my main problem is looking like the worst shit heel in town who ditched his fiancée and hooked up within 24 hours.
BEN: Not at all a ‘shit heel’. You’re a good bloke with a heart bigger than most. Now turn it onto the right woman.
RORY: I know people.
TABI: I know better people. Those who can bring a world to its knees without bloody knuckles. Say the word and I can have my white-hat hacker take down the power grid of your town until they accept the two of you as perfect. Or we can go a different way. I have mafia connections.
RORY: Of course you do.
SABRINA: Let us know what happens! And if you need us.
JONATHAN: I have to go.
TABI: Yeah, you do.
* * *
I enter the bedroom,and she’s propped up with a plastic cup of sparkling. She’s poured me a cup of red.
She’s sipping on LC/W Emma Brut Sparkling Wine. Tabi said it was from a friend of hers. She gestures to another cup. “Drink this. The label is funny but smells good.” She refers to the bottle, then reads it. “Prohibition Nap Time Red. We have kids now; drink one for us.” She laughs as I take a long slow swig. I didn’t realize how much I needed a drink after today. I take another giant sip.
She raises her cup to me, and the plastic makes almost no noise as we toast. “To the woman who called me and set my world upside down. And the man who turned it right side up.” We sip, then I lean toward her and kiss her.
She turns and steals my breath. It’s hers. Everything is hers. Just the vision of her in those cutoffs released me from all the pain and things I’ve hidden for too long. It’s all out and running amok in my head. The hens are out of the house, the cows are loose, and I remember our airport post. She’s so my fucking lid.
