Page 47 of Cookout Carnage
‘See! I was right,’ Tabi interrupted.
‘You get a bit loose and fuzzy around the edges,’ he continued. ‘The shitty things in your life wander off into another room and you either forget about them completely or no longer care.’
Jonathan and Ben nodded as if he had said something very wise. Was he wise? Right now, coming to Chicago was one of the biggest mistakes of his life so far. He blinked the thought away.
‘Next up is funny. Everyone’s a comedian and you laugh at everything.’
‘I think I’m still there,’ said Sabrina. ‘You guys are soooooo funny. Even you,’ she said, pointing at Rory. He raised an eyebrow and she cracked up. ‘See! Hilarious.’
The sight of Rory looking as amused as a mountain after selection as a site for opencast mining set everyone off, and it was at least a minute before Tristan could continue.
‘Number three. Horny.’
‘I could stand to snog Sabrina,’ Tabi said and grimaced as Sabrina started laughing again.
‘No offence, y’all,’ said Jonathan, ‘but my heart is already taken.’
‘Along with your balls,’ said Tabi. She turned to Tristan. ‘So, you horny now?’
‘No, I think I skipped that stage.’
‘On account of being British?’
‘Hey!’ said Ben. ‘We get horny.’
‘Yeah, right. When?’ Tabi asked.
‘At polite and convenient times of course,’ Ben replied. ‘And never in public.’
She rolled her eyes at him and turned back to Tristan.
‘Okay, what’s next on your list?’
He paused. The next two stages in his mind werein loveandmaudlin, but he appeared to have conflated the two. He looked at Tabi, then Rory.
‘You’re married, right?’ he asked them.
Rory nodded.
‘Is married the fourth stage of drunkenness?’ asked Tabi.
‘In Vegas maybe?’ Sabrina suggested.
‘When did you know you were in love?’ Tristan continued. ‘How did you know?’
Tabi blew out her cheeks. ‘Well, this got heavy all of a sudden.’ She shrugged. ‘I dunno, I’ve been in love with Bax since I was seven. Well, it really took shape and form around thirteen. He was my first kiss.’
Tristan looked at Rory, willing him to be the oracle, the sober voice of reason who could help guide his head and his heart.
‘What did you think when you first met Zoe?’ he asked.
Rory smiled. ‘I thought she was a lunatic.’
‘How come?’
‘She attacked me with canned goods and a loaf of bread.’
‘OMG!’ Sabrina slapped her hand to her mouth, only managing to cover half of it. ‘Why?’
