Page 70 of Cookout Carnage

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Sherilyn: ?????

Tris: The one in Rockcastle County, Kentucky, just in case you were wondering.

Sherilyn: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????

Tris: I’ve sold my London flat and am transferring to the Chicago office starting this August. I’m in Fairview on July 5th for a wedding, so I’m taking you up on your kind offer made July 2nd last year and spending the holiday with you and your family.

Tris: I’m really there to see Wiener kick your dad out of office, but the parade, fireworks, hot dogs, and general Southern charm and hospitality are a bonus.

Sherilyn: You are joking right now?

Tris: Which bit?

Sherilyn: All of it.

Tris: I am joking about Wiener Boden being my prime motivation for this trip.

Sherilyn: I don’t believe you.

Tris: Don’t get me wrong, Wiener is a super important part of my plans, but you’re the member of the Boden family I most want to see.

Sherilyn: Don’t mess with me.

Tris: I’m not. Hang on.

Tris: See your email. I’ve forwarded you the wedding invitation, my acceptance, a letter from my estate agent agreeing the sale of my flat, an email from Fitzpatrick & Doyle confirming my new position in Chicago, my plane ticket and hire car confirmation, and booking details for my accommodation in Midway. Do you need to see anything else?

Tris: Hot Sauce?

Tris: Sherilyn?

Sherilyn: O

Sherilyn: M

Sherilyn: G

Sherilyn: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sherilyn: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Sherilyn: GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Tris: Is this a good or a bad thing?

Sherilyn: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Tris: Has your keyboard malfunctioned?

Tris: Or your mind?

Sherilyn: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Tris: Oh de*r. So bad you’re no l*nger w*rried about HR?

Sherilyn: NO NOT bad. Not bad at all.

Tris: Thank goodness we’ve moved down from Defcon CAPS LOCK.

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