Page 6 of Cookout Carnage
TRISTAN: Just catching this, mate. Terribly early. For what it’s worth, we all saw what Tabi has verbalized.
TABI: You had to see it, Jon. It wasn’t our place to say anything.
SABRINA: Yeah. We’re at Patrick’s mother’s cottage in Northern Michigan, but I’m sure I could find my way out of the very loud and confusing woods if you need me. Why are the woods so fucking loud? I swear to fucking God. Have you ever heard two chipmunks scurry under dead leaves and sticks? It’s like thunder clapping loud. I always think there’s like a bear behind me, but it’s just tiny little rodents who believe they’re cute because they’re wearing stripes.
TABI: EpiPen?
SABRINA: Benadryl drip. His fucking mother picked flowers for the dinner table when I got here. Sweet sentiment, but Patrick freaked out when he saw the piece-of-shit lacy weed. I only got four hives on my arm where the pollen had landed on my placemat. I hate the woods.
TRISTAN: FOCUS, women! Jonathan, text me if you need me. I’m not far.
SABRINA: Sorry. When will you tell her?
TABI: Can I do it?
RORY: Christ on a bike, Tabi. He’s man enough to face this. Jon, good luck. You can do hard things. And keep our wedding gift. Zoe sent an air fryer.
JONATHAN: Thanks, that’s great. I need an air fryer.
TABI: Drink all the wine I sent. Future ex-fiancée gets none. Do you hear me?
JONATHAN: Got it. I’m scared.
TABI: Understandable, but if it helps, you’re the nicest of all of us. You deserve to be loved and love with your whole heart. Time to find that backbone of yours.
JONATHAN: Agreed. But this isn’t about Juliet. That’s all gone and done. It’s about Tanya and how incredibly wrong I was. Not about Jules.
RORY: It can’t be. It must be about you and what you don’t want.
TRISTAN: Exactly. If it’s not meant to be, it doesn’t matter that it’s shit timing.
SABRINA: Really shit timing. But you got this, brother.
RORY: I expect when I sit down to dinner, you’ll be single. We have your back. Even Tabitha has found her humanity. You bring it out in all of us, Jon. Now fuck off, all, I’m busy.
JONATHAN: Stay tuned.
* * *
The work wasthe good kind of exhausting where you rip your shirt off and keep going. Your muscles burn, and your mind clears. I have lots of help these days, but today I needed hard labor. Not to punish, but to process everything. Now, I’m cleaned up and in the suit Tanya wanted me to wear tonight.
I tried to see her this morning, but she’s been in Paducah getting her nails and hair done for most of the day. I’m sure there was a spray tan touch-up. I wiggle in the pants, then rearrange the jacket. I’m staring at my image in the mirror.
JONATHAN: Do I look stupid? {Picture of pinstripe suit}
TABI: Depends.
JONATHAN: On what?
SABRINA: You look very handsome and not at all like you have a date in Little Italy.
TABI: Exactly. Do you have a quick meet and greet with the Godfather?
JONATHAN: Come on, guys, it’s that bad?
TRISTAN: It’s not good.
BEN: Forgive me, but it just does not look like you. You look terribly uncomfortable.
