Page 29 of Kissing Games
‘Write bad poetry.’
He relaxed. They were off to a safe start.
She seemed confused. ‘Bad poetry?’
‘Yes. All teenagers think they are tormented literary geniuses experiencing depths of human emotion never felt before or since. Your job is to write the very worst love poem ever.’
She smiled and put it to one side. ‘Okay, that one can stay.’ She pulled out another and unfolded it. ‘Steal something? No. I am a good Catholic girl.’ She threw it into the fire and took another out. ‘Play strip poker.’ She looked up. ‘And who am I meant to play it with? You?’
He held out his hands. ‘Whatever the sacrifice, I’m here to help.’
She gave him a dark look and consigned the idea to the fire.
He swallowed, remembering everything else he’d had the balls to write at two in the morning. This was not going to end well.
She unfolded another. ‘Go on a pub crawl. Okay, yes, that we can do.’ Charlie gave himself an invisible high five. ‘Take drugs? No, no, no.’ She threw the suggestion into the fire. ‘Streak through the castle? Me? Are you crazy?’
‘This is what teenagers do,’ he argued. ‘It’s meant to be stupid and crazy.’
Valentina tore it up theatrically and put the pieces in the fire.
‘Oh, come on now,’ he protested. ‘At this rate, all you’ll be left with is drunken poetry.’
Valentina fixed him with a stare. ‘How many of these involve my clothes coming off, Charlie?’
He swallowed. ‘Er, the teenage years are about your changing body and, er, exploring your sexuality,’ he mumbled.
‘Is wild monkey sex in here?’ she asked suspiciously.
He nodded. When he’d run out of ideas, he’d put “wild monkey sex” in another ten times.
She sighed. ‘At least you didn’t specify who the wild monkey sex had to be with.’ She pulled out another piece of paper. ‘Have sex with Charlie Hamilton?’ she squeaked, her face flushing.
‘You never know, you might enjoy it?’ he asked hopefully. Her hand moved slowly towards the fire. ‘Couldn’t you have a “maybe” pile? A grey area you don’t have to make a decision about yet?’ Her pupils dilated. She dropped the paper to the floor. His heart gave a jump of joy. She hadn’t completely shut the door on him.
She picked out another. ‘Go skinny-dipping. Where?’
‘In the loch.’
‘But it’s freezing! Anyone could see!’
‘We could go at night.’
‘We?’
‘I won’t look. Scout’s honour.’
She rolled her eyes but dropped the suggestion onto the newly created ‘maybe’ pile.
‘Eat something strange or something for the first time. Okay, I can do that. Next. Blow something up? Are you serious?’
‘It’s fun. And I’m a professional,’ he said proudly.
She arched an eyebrow, dropped it onto the ‘maybe’ pile and picked another. ‘Have wild monkey sex. Okay, I will allow that to be a “maybe”.’ She pulled another from the jar. ‘Have wild monkey sex? We’ve just had that one.’
‘Aha. But after experiencing it once, you’ll definitely want to do it again.’
‘Humph,’ said Valentina, dropping it. She took another, then immediately threw it into the flames.
