Page 21 of Wedding Games
‘That can’t happen again,’ Rory said. ‘It just fucking can’t. But it’s impossible for me to be everywhere at once.’
‘You don’t have to be,’ Charlie replied. ‘It’s my job to deal with shit like this. You don’t have to do it on your own.’
His shoulders relaxed a fraction. ‘Thanks.’
Charlie slapped him on the back. ‘I’m not just a pretty face. And you’ll thank me by returning the favour when I marry Valentina in Colombia.’
What?‘You’re engaged?’
‘Keep it down. No, not yet. I don’t want to scare her off. But when it happens, you’ll meet her family. Valentina’s grannies make your mum look like a pussy cat.’
‘May we have the best man?’ came the voice of the shop assistant behind them.
Charlie turned. ‘That would most definitely be me.’ He pulled off his t-shirt and flexed his muscles.
Rory rolled his eyes.
‘Good lord!’ exclaimed Arnold. ‘What a lot of tattoos.’
Charlie kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his trousers.
‘Blimey. They’re even on your legs.’ Rory’s future father-in-law stared at Charlie’s torso. ‘Where does the dragon go?’
Charlie raised an eyebrow.
Arnold took out his phone. ‘Can I take a few pictures?’
‘Only if you send them to me for my Insta,’ Charlie replied.
Arnold nodded. ‘Yes, of course.’
Charlie leaned provocatively against a shelf stacked with rolls of tartan fabric. ‘Well then, knock yourself out.’
Arnold snapped away.
Charlie hooked his fingers inside the top of his boxers and stared into the middle distance as if trying to work out a complex quadratic equation.
‘Do you need to go potty?’ asked Duncan.
‘Mate,’ Rory sighed. ‘What the fuck are you doing?’
His best friend struck another pose. ‘It’s for my brand.’
‘Are you selling haemorrhoid cream?’
‘I’ll have you know,’ Charlie replied, ‘not only am I going to be the new face of a very famous eau de cologne—’
‘Constipated, by Calvin Klein?’
‘—but I’m intending to be next year’s “World’s Sexiest Man”, and knock Brad down to number two.’
‘Speaking of number twos,’ Jamie began. ‘You sure you don’t need to drop the kids off at the pool?’
Charlie grinned, then tugged his boxers lower.
Rory shook his head. ‘Mate, really?’
‘It’s a thirst trap,’ Charlie replied, smouldering at the phone.
