Page 29 of Baby One Last Time
TJ smiled for the first time all morning. “It’s all good, Kessler. X is happy with your performance, with how hard you’re training and how the Xibalbo job went off. I’m happy about that, too.”
“Good.” From his expression and his lack of consternation, it didn’t seem likely a “but” was coming.
“Your teammates are happy, too. Jensen can’t shut about you. Even Lee is coming around.”
Bond nodded in agreement with TJ. Alder and Sparks were overtly friendly to me. So that left a feeling that had been bothering me for days. “What about Penn? I don’t think I’m his favorite person.”
Bond and TJ exchanged another look.
“That’s fair to say,” Bond answered for both of them. “But sometimes the chemistry between teammates takes time.”
I’d heard that before. Just last week, from Derek. “Is this chemistry line something new in HEAT’s management training?”
Bond smiled again, not looking at all annoyed. Which, I have to admit, annoyedme.
This time, TJ answered. “Chemistry is something we’re thinking about a lot with this team. You’re all excellent at what you do. We want you to mesh.”
Meshing was the last thing I had in mind, but I nodded. “Okay.”
“We also want you to take the next step in Tactical,” TJ said. “You’re going to work with logistics on the E&E plan.”
“The E&E? But I’ve only been with HEAT for a year. Less, actually.”
“And in the field with FBI for three years,” TJ said. “Long enough for us to trust you with more responsibility. You ready for it?”
There was a challenge in his voice. How could I turn that down? Besides, as much as I dreaded working more closely with Penn on planning, I was stoked about what amounted to a promotion. I didn’t even care whether it came with a raise. It was one more chance to show X what I was capable of doing.
“I’m ready,” I said. “Thank you.”
I slid my sunglasses back on and stared out the window. Or more precisely, I turned my head so it appeared I was staring out the window, when actually, I closed my eyes to rest them. After a few beats of the break in conversation, I asked TJ, “Does that mean Wilder won’t be traveling with us, since he won’t be in charge of the tactical plans?”
“He’ll still be there,” TJ said.
My pulse skipped up a notch and I let out a long, pranayama breath in an attempt to slow down, but my damn body wouldn’t listen. I told myself, using well-reasoned arguments, that a racing heart was no longer an appropriate response to my ex-partner, but that was doing fuck-all to influence my body’s autonomic system.
“Don’t worry about Derek looking over your shoulder,” TJ continued. “Ours is just one of several missions he’s overseeing right now.”
“Plus, he trusts you,” Bond added.
TJ sighed.
I opened one eye.
He was scowling at Bond.
“What?” Bond asked. “That’s not some sort of classified data Kessler isn’t cleared to have. She should know management has her back.”
TJ nodded. “In case it needs to be said, Kessler, the whole team has your back.”
We turned onto a catastrophically bumpy service road that led straight to the tarmac where the company plane waited for takeoff. The new wave of nausea that hit me gave me an excuse to bend forward and put my head between my knees. It also allowed me to hide the tears I couldn’t hold back. Crying in HEAT was still not an option, even when one was exhausted and hungover, which had to be the reason for it, because having an emotional outburst over the team accepting me would mean I had delusions of becoming one of them. And if that happened, sooner or later, someone would get shot.
After waiting halfan hour in the hot SUV while TJ and the air marshal inventoried the team’s weapons, Bond and I were finally cleared to board. I followed her onto the private plane that was narrower than a jetliner, but fancier. There were twelve comfortable leather seats up front, made up of six rows with one seat on each side of the plane and separated by a wide aisle. In the back, two recliners converted into reasonably comfortable beds. TJ oversaw the weapons being loaded into the cargo hold. Everyone else was already seated and strapped in for the trip.
Mr. Tall, Dark, and Heartless sat alone in the first row of wide, upholstered seats. He didn’t so much as glance at me as I passed. His hunched shoulders and clenched jaw belied his tension. I didn’t know whether he was telegraphing his unhappiness to me or too caught up in it to hide it. Either way, I didn’t care. Our current hostility was his doing, his mess. I was just along for the lousy ride. I brushed past him quickly and said curt hellos to the rest of the team as I passed them.
Jensen whistled softly when I approached his seat. “Fuck me. Someone had a late night.”
Maybe the sunglasses didn’t hide as much as I’d hoped.
