Page 63 of Baby One Last Time
Bond laid her hand on my shoulder. “You’re fine. A perfect physical specimen. No one will keep you off the mission, unless TJ sees you overreacting like that.”
“What, then?” I asked, but some part of me was already putting together the pieces. “I can’t stand that we left someone behind.” I glanced at Mai. “You get that, don’t you?”
Bond sat down beside me. Mai stood, walked to the bed, and sat down on my other side.
“Why do I feel like this is an intervention?” I asked.
“Think of it as an opportunity to bond,” Mai said. “No pun intended.”
Bond frowned at her, then leaned against my shoulder. “Think of it as a chance to unburden yourself. Share your truth.”
Now I scowled at Bond. “Can we just go back to the intervention? What is the problem? My overindulgence in good whiskey or in young bartenders?”
Neither of them cracked a smile. I stiffened and sat up straighter, my physical defenses sliding into place along with my emotional ones.
“Remember, we all heard that little interlude between you and Wilder,” Bond said, using her soothing medical voice, which I found not at all comforting.
“I know.” I couldn’t deal with that now, though. I couldn’t face what the recording between Derek and me would mean for my future until we completed that night’s mission and Derek was safe and sound.
“Don’t worry, it’s been erased.” Mai elbowed me. “Did you think your teammates would hand that over to X?”
They should. That was protocol, and protocol existed for all of our protection. It was a lesson I’d resisted for the past year, but with Derek trapped behind enemy lines and Mai escaping the same fate by the skins of our teeth, it finally sank into my thick skull.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “Derek and I have tried to be together in HEAT. We’ve tried to be apart. Neither works. There’s still something between us, some big, complicated mess.”
“Mess?” Bond repeated.
Mai leaned forward and spoke around me. “Pay no attention to her. She thinks the four-letter L-word is lust.”
Lust. That was what had ignited this dumpster fire. But there were plenty of other sexy fish in the sea, and none of them had driven me to stupidity. And somewhere along the way, that straight line from desire to sex had bent and switched back and evolved into a maze.
I struggled for better words to describe what existed between Derek and me, to explain it to my friends, who were great at their jobs, okay with moral support, and terrible at interventions. To confide in them the gnawing ache that formed in the pit of my gut when Derek and I were together how it got worse when we were apart. The belief, when he linked his pinkie with mine, that I could face the world and conquer it. The warm comfort of his body curled around mine as I cried over missing my mom and aunt and the homesickness I felt for a town I had yet to find.
The sharp prick of Bond’s sedative needle cut through my tangled thoughts, giving me flash of clarity. The complicated mess of emotions wasn’t that complicated after all. The truth hit fast and true, a bullet to the chest. A word for everything between us.
Love.
I was in love with Derek Wilder.
I said the only thing I could, the only thing that made sense as I stared down the barrel of that realization. “Well, fuck me.”
A second later, spots floated in front of my eyes and I couldn’t hold my heavy head upright.
“Whoah, that’s hitting you fast,” Bond said. “Lee, let’s get her comfortable.”
My weight shifted under me, then I was lying prone on the firm mattress between crisp, clean sheets. I inhaled, enjoying their lavender scent. I blinked hard, trying to stay awake, but my eyelids scraped my eyes.
“Mai, wake me up in time,” I said. “I have to tell him.”
I slipped under the waves of a dreamless sleep.
I joltedawake with that rare, post-sleep clarity of knowing exactly where I was and what had happened. Derek was behind enemy lines and we had to extract him. I glanced at my watch. It was quarter after five. I’d been out cold for nearly nine hours.
“Dammit, Bond,” I muttered to the empty room as I dashed off to the bathroom. “And you, too, Mai.” I would only forgive them for letting me sleep so long if the team had a solid rescue plan in place by the time I joined them, and they’d move up my list of favorite people ever if they had any news about Derek.
I downed half a bottle of water and grabbed my key card to head to the team house. My aching stomach reminded me it had been twenty-two hours since I’d eaten, and I was starving. Jensen better not have scarfed down all the granola bars or we were going to have a throw down.Afterwe brought Derek back.
There was a knock at the door as I reached for the handle. I pulled open the door and my partner held up two granola bars, an apple, and a bottle of cold green tea.
