Page 37 of A Grave Not Made For Mourning
With a scream from Calista, the ball pops, and the wind rushes through the large room. I’m slammed against the wall—that’s thankfully padded, for reasons like these.
My hair blows in my face, filling my mouth. I turn my head against the brute of her power, watching as Calista crashes to her knees. When the wind subsides, I rush to her.
Her usually perfect braided hair is a mess, loose strands sticking out from every stitch. It falls down her back, looking like it’d be better undone.
“What is it?” I sit next to her.
“Do not act as if you don’t feel it.” Calista stifles the cries between her sharp words.
“You’re sad and angry,” I say—an understatement. “But I’m not asking what you feel; I’m asking why you feel it.”
Calista lifts her head, a sheen of tears over her brown eyes. “It’s Lilac… She won’t even look at me anymore. I broke her heart, and I can never tell her why.”
A few times now, she confided in me. She had a relationship with Lilac, and her parents—the King and Queen of Folkara—forced her to end it.
“Lilac could keep the secret,” I say, and as I’m about to continue, Calista cuts me off.
“My mother would kill me if it ever came out.” She stares at the ceiling, plugging her nose and clamping a hand over her mouth as she cries. She always does.Sorrow should be suffered in silence, Calista says.
I believe those are her mother’s words.
“But you told me your secret,” I whisper.
“That’s different.”
She doesn’t need to elaborate.
I know why it’s different. If I were to betray her trust, and her secret came out, she could say I manipulated her emotions. I am the easiest scapegoat, the only person she could safely be honest with.
It would be simple to turn the tables on me.
It’s the only reason she could have a friendship with me.
“It wasn’t only that Mother denied my feelings for Lilac,” Calista whispers. “It’s something worse—” She chokes once more on her sobs.
As she reaches to plug her nose, I grab her wrist, stopping her. “Cry, Calista. It’s okay to cry.”
My words give her pause for a moment. Then her head crashes onto my shoulder. I release her wrist, holding her back as she cries into my shirt, dampening the fabric.
“Mother told me—” She hiccups. “She told me that I am to marry Lucian, and Lilac is to marry Kai.” The sobs echo through the room. “There is everything standing against Lilac and me, and if I am to utter these words to Lilac before our parents announce them… I could lose what little I have.”
I hold onto Calista. I have no words. Her sobs burn in my throat and ache in my stomach. I wish there was something more I could do with this awful power. Something other than saying,I know. But it seems that’s all I’m good for.
“I need you.” Calista forces herself up. The tears continue to stream as she sits straight. “I need you to take away my love.”
I shake my head, and Calista picks up my gloved hand.
“Look me in the eye, and force me to stop feeling this way,” she demands.
“Calista… No. I can’t do that.” Gently, I tug my hand away.
As I stare at her, I think of what she is asking me to do. If I do this, there’s no telling if I could undo it. Would Calista ever want me to?
But it isn’t the immortality of the decision that makes me hesitate.
It’s the danger. If I do one thing incorrectly, I don’t know what will happen.
My compulsion could kill her, the same way my touch would.
