Page 43 of Together We Burn
Stevie
JakewasgonewhenI woke a couple of hours later. And that stung.
As if it wasn’t bad enough I was tormenting myself betweensupposedlyhating the man but not actually feeling it. I also felt needy and pathetic that he’d snuck out while I slept.
What happened last night was a myriad of emotions. Jake’s emotions primarily. When he handed me the letter, he was almost fearful of what it contained. Then, when he fucked me, demanding me to recognise us for what we were, there was a current of anger, a danger I’d never seen Jake possess, and that was hot as fuck.
But then he had to ruin it by almost declaring… No, he wasn’t about to tell methat.
So, why did it feel like before I fell asleep, he was saying goodbye? Not forever, but for right now. Until I could get my shit together.
Regardless, all of that did not sit right with either vengeful or forgiving Stevie. Both were surprisingly pissed he didn’t stay and cuddle, hold me in his strong arms and for me to wake up beside him.
Pathetic, pathetic, so fucking pathetic.
Rolling over, I buried my face into my pillow and screamed.
“What do you want from me?” I asked into the soft cotton of my pillowcase as spots and stars danced across my eyelids at the pressure of being pressed hard onto my bed.
Gasping, I sat up and pulled my hair into a topknot, tying a scrunchie round the bun, and slid from my bed.
Looking for my discarded pyjamas but coming up short, I chucked on denim shorts and a vest top lying on the floor from when I’d undressed a couple of days ago. Man, I really was a slob.
Heading to the kitchen and pulling open the fridge door, I reached in and grabbed a bottle of beer. Exhaustion crashed upon me in waves as today's rollercoaster of emotions finally caught up to me. I wasn't used tofeelingand it was fucking tiring. The constant ups and downs, highs and lows… I hated it.
“Are you okay?” Alex asked, startling me. Closing the fridge door, I leaned against it and closed my eyes with a nod of my head. “So, um, Jake?”
“What about it?” I asked on an exhale.
Glancing at the time flashing on the oven, my disappointment at waking up alone increased. He’d barely been in my house for two hours and he snuck out after a quick fuck like I was his side piece.
I looked up to find Alex staring back at me with a knowing look.
“That good, huh?” he mused, his eyes darting to my chest. Following, I too looked down to find two U-shaped arches facing one another.
The bastard bit me. I snickered, unable to fight the eye roll or smirk at the possessive display of dominance.
That shouldn’t have flooded my body with heat that ended directly at my pussy.
I knocked my head back against the fridge, reprimanding myself for my stupid reactions. Maybe it was coming to my time of the month. I always felt more aroused in the days leading up to it.
Twisting the cap off the beer bottle, hoping the ice-cold liquid would chill me from the inside out, I took a large gulp.
“Let me ask you something,” Alex began, folding his arms over his chest and tilting his head warily. “If you were given the chance to help Chris or make a difference in her name and all you had to do was get close to some guy and get information about his father, would you pass that up?”
“I didn’t need anyone’s assistance to help Chris,” I reminded him.
“Hypothetically, Stevie,” he said, sounding irritated. “Hypothetically, this was the only way you could stop Ronan from abusing other girls. By meeting some guy, being forced to get close, lie and hurt him, all the while accidentally falling in love with him…”
I’d been looking at the floor as Alex played his little game of “what-ifs”until he said that.
Snapping my gaze to his, I baulked. “I don’t love him, Alex.”
“Maybe not yet, but you care deeply for him.”
I couldn’t listen to this. Pushing from where I was leaning, I tried to leave the room, but Alex caught my arm.
“Stevie,” he murmured, with a softness to his voice that made my throat thicken. What happened to badass Stevie 2.0? Cold-hearted bitch that left no prisoners? Swallowing hard, I turned my head to face him. “I just want you to be happy.”
