Page 86 of Grease Monkey
“You’re miserable, but you’re too afraid to stand up for what would make you truly happy.” Her eyes jump to mine, and I can see how right I am. I’d guess I always knew she wasn’t happy. I could tell the moment I stepped up close to her in her apartment, the way she reacted to my touch, and I used it against her. Used her desperation to be happy to take what I wanted. Just like everyone else in her life. My hand curls around my glass, my knuckles turning white as the heaviness of that sinks into my stomach. But rather than admit that I fucked up, I focus onhim.“No wonder your parents think your fiancé is the right guy for you. You’re just as much ayesperson to him as you were to them, Morgana.”
“Why do you do that?” she asks, her voice quiet.
I lean forward, topping up my glass with the remainder of the vodka.
“Do what?”
“Call me Morgana? Not Ana like you used to. Well, except that one time.”
That’s… not what I thought she was going to ask me. If I’m being honest, I was waiting on her calling me out for being a dickhead, ask how I am any different to her fiancé. But how do I tell her it’s too hard to say that three-letter word without my pulse beating too quickly? That the way her lips parted the last time I accidentally let it slip when I took something from her I shouldn’t have was the best sight I’ve seen in seven years? I drum my fingers against the empty bottle, unable to look at her as I tell her the truth.
“Because you’re not my Ana anymore. You’re someone else’s.”
From the corner of my eye, I see her nod and gently place her empty tumbler on the table before pushing to her feet. I do the same, shoving my hands in my coverall pockets and watching as she collects her jacket and bags, surprisingly sober for how much we drank. Pausing by the door, she drops her head, looking across her shoulder to the floor so I can only see her profile.
“Thanks for fixing my car, Teddy.”
Digging in my pockets, I pull out her keys. “Here.”
She takes them with a tight smile.
“I can call you a cab if you like?”
She shakes her head. “I’ll walk. Goodnight, Teddy.”
Slipping out the office door, it quietly closes behind her, and I stare until my eyes burn with the sight of her walking away from me again.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Morgana
I press myself against the wall outside his office, clasping the hand holding my keys to my chest as my heart beats the unusual rhythm it always does when things with Teddy grow tense. Not like when he asked if Richard and I had slept together. No, this intense presence is different, like chemistry or a force between us that screams to make itself known when we’re together, wanting to see if we’ll collide under an invisible pull I now know Teddyhasto feel too. Why else would he have let me talk out my issues? The seams around my carefully constructed life are fraying, coming apart the more time I’m around him.
I can hear him shuffling around his office, and I want to go back inside. Tell him that he’s right. I never do what makes me happy, so for once, I want to do something that will.
Because you’re not my Ana anymore. You’re someone else’s.
I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s wrong, and if there is a Hell, there’s a section reserved for me, but as I raise my hand to knock on the glass window, I don’t care. I want this. Just this once.
My fist doesn’t connect as the door swings open, and I stumble forward, my bag, laptop, and keys dropping to the ground. Teddy’s hands wrap around my arms as he stops me from face-planting into his chest.
“What the—”
I reach up and wind my arms around his neck, tugging him down wordlessly until our mouths collide with years of regret, what-ifs, and unadulterated lust. He groans, and I swallow the sound greedily as he bends, his hands running under my thighs to my ass as he lifts me, and I wrap my legs around his waist. His tongue pushes past my lips, and I moan as his taste fills my mouth. One so familiar, yet so different at the same time, all with a hint of vodka. Knocking off that damn baseball cap, I thread my fingers in his thick, dark hair, whimpering when he breaks the kiss to run his lips along my jaw and down my neck.
This is what I’ve been missing since the day I let him go. The piece of me I lost finally found in his kisses.
“Morgana…?”
Please don’t stop, Teddy. Don’t take this away from me.
He pulls back, his eyes darting between mine, a small furrow between his brows.
I shake my head. “Please, Teddy. Let me be your Ana again. Just for tonight. Let me be her.”
He stares, gripping the back of my neck like he’s contemplating his next move. Perhaps he knows what we’re doing is dangerous and is giving me a chance to back out. But I won’t. I’m all in. I want his lips on mine, his body weighted down against me as he lets me forget. It gives us both the closure we so desperately need.
“Please.” It’s said in such a whisper that I wonder if I even said it. But Teddy’s fingers squeeze around my neck and nudge me forward, his lips taking mine in a demanding kiss.
