Page 118 of Cadence
I just don’t know how yet.
Chapter Fifty-One
Paige
TheTV’son,butit’s just background noise, playing some re-run of a reality show Mom watches, all bright and fake, simply on just to fill the space, to keep the silence from invading and making me relive the last couple of days.
I curl deeper into the corner of the sectional, hoodie sleeves pulled over my hands, knees tucked up to my chest beneath a blanket. My hair’s knotted and greasy, twisted on the top of my head. I’m a mess, but I don’t care, at least I’m not in bed staring at the ceiling.
The front door opens and clicks shut again, and I don’t bother turning around. Footsteps move across the hardwood, then Dad’s voice cuts through the dull drone of the TV.
“Any change?”
Mom’s reply is soft, almost a whisper, but I hear it clear as anything. They’re worried, I know they are. But they shouldn’t be. Heartache isn’t something I need protection from.
“No. She’s eaten more today, though. But not much.” She sighs.
They talk like I’m not in the room, like I’m a ghost in their house, haunting the corner of the couch in silence.
“Has she said anything?”
“Not really. A nod here or there, a shrug if she can be bothered.” I can picture her face as I stare at the TV, lips drawn tight with concern. “I’m worried.”
I hear the distinct sound of Dad dropping a kiss to her temple before walking into the living room. The couch cushions dip as he joins me seconds later.
“How are you doing, honey?”
I glance at him, twitching my lips upward. It’s the best I can manage.
God, I hate mopey Paige. I just want to be back to normal.
“I saw Maddox this afternoon,” Dad says as casually as if he was discussing the weather. I stiffen, keeping my eyes fixed on the screen. “He was visiting your sister when I got there.” Suddenly, breathing has gotten a lot harder. “He’s been carrying a lot, Paige. More than you probably know. He really believed it was his fault, that your sister would still be here if it weren’t for him.”
My lips part, my brain trying to process that. I keep replaying that morning in Reign’s hotel suite, but the memory is warped, distorted. Maddox’s mouth moves, but I can’t make out his words, even though they’re etched on my brain.
I’m the reason your sister’s dead.
My chest aches, and I press my lips together, still not looking at my father as I breathe through the torrent of pain building like a storm inside me.
“He should’ve told you, honey. As soon as he knew who you were, he should’ve been honest,” Dad says, reaching over to squeeze my knee. “But I understand why he didn’t.”
“He lied to me,” I whisper, voice hoarse from disuse. “They all did.”
“I’m not saying it was right. I’m saying I understand.”
My eyes burn with tears I no longer have to give.
“He wasn’t trying to deceive you,” he continues softly. “He was trying to avoid something he didn’t think he deserved.”
“And what’s that?” I ask, risking a glance at him.
He looks older than he should. Worn down in a way that unsettles me. But when he looks up, a gentle smile pulls at his lips as he wraps me in his arms and kisses the top of my head.
“Freedom from his past,” he says, letting out a long, slow breath. “The boy’s hurting, Paige. I’m not saying forgive him. Just…don’t throw away something good just because it began in the wrong place.”
I don’t say anything, just lean into his side as we sit together in the quiet, his hand rubbing slow circles on my arm. But after a while, he shifts uncomfortably, like he can’t get comfy.
“What?” I ask, preparing to hear something I’m not sure I’ll like.
