Page 94 of Who's Saving You
“Oh, yeah. It’s confirmed.”
“Fucking assholes,” I mumble. “You two done yet?”
“We’re done. And so are you. I’m happy for you, man. She’s a good girl.”
“Yeah,” Soba cuts in. “Think we can get a three-for-one wedding?”
I laugh despite myself. “You’re so fucking cheap.”
The conversation then turns to the upcoming games, plans for Christmas, who will have the New Year's Day game, and whether we’ll be able to see each other during the start of the playoffs.
And as the conversation runs down, I know it’s now or never.
“Hey, uh, I have one more thing I wanted to talk to you guys about.” The words are there, but I almost can’t bring myself to speak them. Soba’s looking at me, Loving’s waiting, and I know I can’t hide this anymore. They deserve to hear it, even if it wrecks everything.
“I… I have to tell you something,” I start, my voice raw. “I would rather do it in person, but it can’t wait.” My hands shake, and I grip the counter to steady myself. “Back in college, the sophomore bowl game, that loss wasn’t bad luck. It wasn’t just an off game.” I force myself to meet their eyes through the little screen, but only for a second. “I threw it. On purpose.”
The words detonate in the silence. I can see Soba stiffen. Loving’s jaw drops, eyes flicking all around the screen, like he can’t make sense of what he just heard.
I push on before they can cut me off. “You know my dad had a gambling problem. He got in too deep. Gambled away my tuition money. His bookie stepped in, said he’d help me.” I swallow hard. “But then I owed him.” I shake my head, trying to clear the ghosts that have been creeping up on me. “I started working for him, giving tips, collecting, that sort of thing. But then my dad went to another crew, and he got himself in trouble again. He never even came to me. I got a call from the ones he owed, telling me they'd make my mom pay if I didn’t.”
“Nik—” Loving begins to speak, but I hold up my hand.
“I said I’d do anything, figured it was more tips and such. But no. They needed a big payout to cover Dad.” That lump in my throat is growing, and I wish Noelle were standing beside me. I almost go to get her, but I need to stand strong here. “Our game was a lock. Everyone was betting on us, which meant the only way to flip the odds, to make it worth their while, was me. All I had to do was miss a block, mess up a route. Blow it. That was the simple answer.” I shrug. “I told myself I had no choice. I’d do it, get us ahead, and we’d be okay again.” A laugh leaves me, sounding bitter. “All I had to do was sell out my own team. Sell outyou.”
Soba’s mouth twists with anger, and Loving just stares at me and says, “Okay, but it was one game. Look where we are now–”
“It didn’t stop there,” I cut him off as the words scrapemy throat. “I’m still running a gambling ring. All those late-night calls, the questions, the way I’ve been pushing you two to talk about your plays—” My chest caves. “I wasn’t just checking in. I was using it. Taking what you told me and twisting it into bets. Betting against your teams. Profiting offyou.”
Loving speaks, his voice low. “You’ve been what? Placing bets? Using us?” He shakes his head, blinking hard. “Nik, tell me this is some sick joke.”
“Den eínai,” I whisper. “It’s not.”
Soba explodes. “Goddammit, Nik!” His fists clench tight in the little square, and I can hear his knuckles pop. “Is this why they split us?”
Their secrets come barreling back to me, and their blaming me sets me into a rage. "You'rethe reason for our split!” I erupt. “You guys both had your secrets, don’t act like I did this alone.”
Soba tries to speak over me. “But our secrets?—”
I cut him off. “But your secret was to get a girl, and not just any girl, but your sister's best friend? Gimme a break, Nicholas. You had to stalk and follow someone across the country just to get a girlfriend. Ever hear of sending a text? Making a phone call?” I scoff. “You had to learn how to have sex by watching others? Going to sex clubs, obsessing over her for years?”
I point at Loving. “And you. You can’t keep your dick in your pants, had to flash it all over your Instagram stories because you think you’re untouchable. Then you used your team-appointed PR rep to clean it up, all the while still fucking around behind her back?” I throw my hands up. “I saved my family! That's what my secret was for!”
“Don’t you throw shit back on us–”
I cut Soba off. “You traded away our chance to playtogether. We were going to do something that had never been done before. But you chose getting your dick wet over your best friends!”
“Papas! Are you fucking serious right now? You threw a motherfucking game. You could have been banned from the draft, and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway!” Soba says. “That game was important. It was everything that determined where we’d go.”
I slam the counter with my palms. “No, the fuck it wasn’t. It was a bowl game. We had two more years after that, which we fucking shined during.Thoseyears got us to where we are now.”
Silence falls while they begin to put things together. Loving who’s been quiet, says, “I remember that. We were questioned by the coach and the athletic board. You could have jeopardized everything for us!”
“I know that,” I say, defeated. “And now I’m still doing it.”
“Why now? Why are you telling us now? Because your guilty conscience got the best of you?”
I shake my head. “Because the one who forced me to do it, to save my family, got notice that someone was poking at the story.”
