Page 39 of Saved By Noel
My chest constricts as I pull into Davis’ driveway. Pops is in the passenger seat with Chase behind us; a déjà vu moment from Christmas.
But this time, we’re not coming for Christmas. We’re coming for Clara.
Of course, Syd claims this is a fun barbecue to gather some people together before the summer rush. In actuality, the purpose of this gathering is for Clara’s best friend, Madison, to meet her friends in Noel.
I think I’d rather endure Christmas again than attend this cookout. Even though I’m friendly with everyone who will be in attendance, I don’t prefer gatherings of more than one or two people. Especially not a gathering in honor of the woman I keep unsuccessfully trying to erase from my daily thoughts.
Clara’s made good on her intent to visit Noel every month, usually twice a month. There’s no scientific explanation that could be used in a court of law, but I swear, every time she’s come to town, I’ve sensed it before even seeing her. Like hercrossing the boundary of my hometown plucks a string tied to my heart, vibrating to announce her presence.
I might be going crazy.
After helping her with the smoke detector that night, I lay in bed, wide awake for hours. I attempted to analyze why I felt inescapably drawn to her when I naturally hold people a safe distance away. I’ve had no problem shutting down the efforts of the handful of Noel single women who have shown interest in me over the years. My close circle of friends is the same small group I’ve had since childhood.
Did my inner walls malfunction from the beginning with Clara because there was a physical wall between us for our first conversation? Is it the fact that she isn’t a Noel local, so her first encounter was withjustClark, not with ClarkNoel? Or is it simply something abouther?
I can’t put my finger on the exact reason I feel so connected to Clara. I also can’t sever the connection, try as I might. And it’s driving me insane.
Which is why I’ve tried to avoid her as much as possible. Unfortunately, that’s hard to do in a small town, so we’ve bumped into each other a couple of times. Last month, she caught me down at the river with Chase, who couldn’t hold his chill together in the slightest. He was all over Clara, exactly the way my instincts want to be. Watching her love on Chase made enough of a crack in my walls that I asked how her writing was going.
But then she peered up at me with those cornflower eyes, her cheeks flushed from walking outdoors, grinning from Chase’s affection. She asked me how the town was doing. And that string tying me to her was tugging, beckoning me to open up to her. To pour out all my worries and anxieties and fears about how I’m losing the one thing I have left. How it’s slowly dying under my watch.
So I took Chase and left.
I wish I could take Chase and leave now.
But this is the first time that Syd and Davis have attempted to plan something with Clara and me in the same vicinity. Ever since I let them have it about that Deer River Bar ambush, they’ve been less blatant, at least. Today seemed important to Syd, though, so I reluctantly agreed. On the bright side, this is getting Pops out and around other people for a while. And there will be more bodies here as a buffer between Clara and me, unlike dancing at the bar.
We make our way around back slowly since Pops is still refusing to use a cane. I hear the chorus of voices and laughter filling the air, along with the smell of the grill. Pausing to drop my offering of watermelon slices on the food table, I walk alongside Pops to make sure he makes it safely to a lawn chair. Junior scampers over to greet him, lured by the butterscotch candies Pops always hides in his pockets.
With Pops settled, I say a quick hello to Paul and Emily seated next to him, then move to the grill to see if Davis needs any assistance. I halt mid-step, taken aback by the sight of Clara standing next to Syd.
She’s wearing a baby-blue sundress that makes her eyes even bluer than usual. A few strawberry-blond tendrils escape from the ponytail she’s pulled her hair into. Clara is laughing at something her brunette friend said. The sound carries on the breeze straight to the deepest corners of my mind, where the fodder for my dreams lies.
My vision of Clara is interrupted by a hard clap on my back.
“You’re right—I see it now. You definitelydon’thave a thing for Clara,” Davis says in a deadpan tone that’s canceled out by the mirth in his eyes.
“Shut up.”
“Hey babe, look who’s here!” Davis calls out to Sydney.
“Clark! So glad you could make it!” Syd says with an extra-wide grin, gesturing me over. She’s also wearing a dress, and Clara’s friend has on one of those shirt/short onesie romper things that are in fashion for reasons I don’t understand. Even Davis has on a polo shirt. I didn’t realize everyone was dressing up for this barbecue. I’m suddenly self-conscious in my plain black tee shirt and jeans, but at least I didn’t wear a ball cap today.
“Hey Syd. Hi Clara,” I greet as I walk toward them.Be a civil human being, man!I lecture myself, trying to shake off the way Clara flusters me. I hold my hand out to her friend and introduce myself. “Hi there, I’m Clark Noel.”
“Madison,” her friend replies. She shakes my hand and doesn’t even try to hide the way she’s eyeing me from head to toe. “So. We meet at last, MayorNole.”
She also doesn’t try to hide her exaggerated emphasis on my last name pronunciation.
Her greeting was a loaded statement if ever there was one. I clear my throat. “Um, Clark’s just fine. Welcome to town, Madison. Glad you could come for a visit with Clara.”
“Oh, she talks about this place and the people in so much detail, I had to come see for myself!” Madison says. Her tone somehow manages to sound lighthearted and threatening at the same time.
I notice Clara subtly poke her elbow in Madison’s side. The movement draws my gaze from Clara’s elbow up the curve of her shoulder, along the dip of her neck, past her perfectly pink lips, and up to her eyes. I’m paralyzed in starstruck silence.
Syd chooses this moment to be uncharacteristically considerate of my social awkwardness and asks me to help carry some things out from the kitchen. Addie is characteristically attached to Syd’s leg, so I scoop her up as we walk towardthe house and blow raspberries on her tummy. That adorable toddler giggle melts even my heart.
Inside the house, Syd turns to me. “Clark, are you okay?”
