Page 126 of Your Second Chance
I looked away, out the window. “I am,” I said simply, turning back to meet his gaze.
What I wanted to say was that Ollie was the best person I’d ever met. That he’d been there for all the years Austin hadn’t. How he didn’t step in as Scarlette’s father, he became her world.
And I also wanted to admit that I hadn’t been brave enough to get married again yet. That because of the way Austin and I had gone so wrong, it left scars I was still learning how to live with. Not because I didn’t love Ollie, but because some fears take time to quiet.
He nodded, his attention shifting to the coffee in front of him, his fingers curling around the mug. “I saw you,” he said after a moment. “On social media. In the news.”
A faint smirk tugged at my lips, and I took a sip of my drink, letting the warmth soothe the tension in my throat. “Keeping tabs?” I teased lightly.
He shook his head quickly. “When I got out of rehab, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Then I saw you were engaged... and had a kid.”
My plan from all those years ago had worked, the one Iris had come up with when everything felt like it was crumbling. I hadn’t been sure that it would, not at the time. I was shocked, honestly, and impressed.
His voice faltered slightly, and I saw the question lingering in his eyes before he continued. “You do a good job of keeping her out of the spotlight, so I never saw a picture. I assumed she was his.”
The words hit me like a punch to the gut. He didn’t know. He didn’treallyknow. I tightened my fingers around the cup as I fought to keep my expression neutral.
“W-Why didn’t you tell me, Nova?” His eyes were wide and searching, pleading for answers I wasn’t sure I could give him.
I’d known this conversation would come someday, but I wasn’t ready. How could I be? The memories—the fights, theshattered glass, the endless nights of uncertainty—flooded back in a torrent, threatening to pull me under.
“I tried, Austin. I did,” I whispered.
I remembered the night I’d called the rehab center, my heart in my throat. Three months after I moved, when that payment landed in my account. When they told me he’d extended his stay, the word stole the air from my lungs. Extended. Things were bad.
“I called after three months—when I got that payment in my account,” I continued, forcing myself to look at him. “The rehab center said you were still in there, that you’d extended your stay. I thought that meant things were bad. I didn’t want Scar—her—to be around you while you were still an addict.” I clenched my jaw, trying to steady the wave of emotions rising in my chest. The fear, the anger, the guilt—it all came rushing back. “I couldn’t have her around someone who was throwing bottles when he was drunk. I couldn’t let her see that. I couldn’t let her grow up with half a father—someone who might be there one day and gone the next.”
The image of him, red-eyed and staggering, came unbidden to my mind. I could still hear the sound of shattering glass. Scarlette deserved more than that. She deserved stability, love, a home where she didn’t have to wonder if her father would show up sober—or show up at all.
Austin’s jaw tightened, and he dropped his gaze to the table. “I wasn’t... I didn’t know,” he muttered. “I didn’t know she existed. I could’ve been better if I’d known.”
I shook my head, the ache in my chest twisting into something sharper. “Maybe. Maybe not. I had to make the call, Austin. You have no idea how much it killed me to keep that from you, but I couldn’t risk it. Not with her. I had to protect her.”
The words spilled out, years of pent-up fear and guilt lacing every syllable. And then another memory surfaced—the press conference. The first time I’d seen him sober, standing there like a man who was finally trying.
“When I saw the press conference, it felt like it was the first time you were trying to get help for yourself. I loved you still, and I couldn’t let you mess it up or get better because of her. I still wanted you to get better for yourself.”
His shoulders slumped, his shame evident in the way he wouldn’t meet my eyes. But his pain didn’t erase my own.
“You should’ve told me,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I deserved the chance to try.”
I sighed, looking out the window, the reflection of my own weary face staring back at me. “Maybe I should have,” I admitted. “But I wasn’t willing to gamble with her safety. Not back then.”
Even as I said it, the guilt gnawed at me. Could I have handled it differently? Should I have? I didn’t know anymore. I only knew that Scarlette had been my priority, always.
“I tried to find you on social media after the first year, but I couldn’t find anything. It’s like you left everything.”
My stomach twisted as I thought about how much I’d tried to bury the past.
“And my mom?” he asked, his voice harder this time. “You didn’t think of calling her?”
I looked down at my coffee, shame flickering through me. “At that point, I had started to date Ollie. He was a friend of mine and helped me with her. And finally... I agreed to date him.” My voice faltered. “Luna thought about it, but....”
“And now?” Austin’s voice broke through my thoughts, forcing me to meet his gaze. “What about now? What do you want me to do?”
What did I want him to do? What could I even ask of him now, after everything?
“I want you to figure out what kind of father you’re going to be. Because if you’re going to be in her life, it has to be all or nothing. No halfway, no excuses.”
