Page 53 of What Happens This Christmas
“It got me thinking that I’ve always wanted to work in a department store. It was a road I was looking to go down before we met.” That, and going to school for fashion design. Neither were facts I’d felt the need to share with him before. Basically, I’d always felt destined to do something in fashion.Who would’ve guessed that until now that something would’ve been strictly shopping?
He drew his brows together, forming a deep V in the middle of his forehead. “Are you saying I stopped you from pursuing a dream of yours?”
“What? Never.” How could he possibly think that? I would never accuse him of such a thing. Any decisions I had made were mine and mine entirely. I owned up to them, whether or not they were mistakes. I wasn’t even implying that Nick was a mistake, because he wasn’t. I was only…oh, forget it. It wasn’t important. “It just didn’t feel like the right time anymore.” That was what was important.
“And now is? The right time?” he asked, his jaw twitching as he studied my expression, his eyes never once wavering, roaming elsewhere.
“Maybe.” I shrugged, unsure what else to do. “I’d like to see if there’s a department store looking for a buyer and personal shopper.” It seemed sensical to seek employment doing what I loved to do.
“You should do it. If it’s something you’re interested in, I don’t see why not.”
I smiled a smile that was as real as the ache in my chest from the incessant racing of my heart. “It is,” I guaranteed, watching as his hand came between us, brushing my cheek.
Before I got the chance to lean into his touch, it disappeared like a thief in the night. “Come on,” he urged, his voice hoarse. He nudged his chin toward a horse-drawn carriage that it appeared a couple and their daughter were exiting.
The little girl’s overzealous and bubbly tone filled my ears, drowning out the music from the singer. “That was so much fun. You think Santa will bring me a pony?”
Nick must have been eavesdropping as well, since the corners of his lips tilted upward, his eyes finding mine again.They were the most vibrant blue I’d ever seen, and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world to be able to stare into them for as long as I wanted. I really messed up, didn’t I? I didn’t appreciate what I had as much as I should have, and now all I had were these moments with him. Moments that had a timer on them, which I knew was running out.
“There are few things you can guarantee in this world, but a little girl wanting a pony is high on that list,” I joked as he placed his hand on the small of my back.
“Is that what you wanted? A pony?”
“I recall adding it to my Christmas list for Santa one year,” I answered, chuckling at the memory. Oh, how it had been to be young and naïve, unencumbered by adult responsibilities and harsh realities.
He guided me to the carriage, where he paid the coachman, who was ready to take the reins again.
“You hate tourist activities like this,” I said, furrowing my brows.
“I’m willing to make an exception.”
He extended his hand to help me get up, but I paused.
My stomach plummeted, the feeling like I was in an elevator heading straight down to my death. Maybe this was a bad idea. I was going to head down a road, so far down it that it’d be difficult to find my way back. “We should probably head home. We still have to get cleaned up, change, and be prepared for dinner. The chef will have everything waiting, and—”
“We’ll be fine, and if we’re not, then it will all be there when we get back,” he said.
Perhaps it was because of the time of year. I wasn’t one to believe in the magic of Christmas, that miracles happened now, or that wishes were heard near and far. It all seemed a little too fantastical for me.
But I felt magic in the air right now, and I was going to let it lead me. I could afford to believe in something I couldn’t see, if only for the time being. “All right.”
Not waiting another second, he took my hand and helped me up. Clearly, he wouldn’t hear any more reasons why we couldn’t round out the day with this romantic ride.
The air felt different up here somehow. Like down there, on the ground, we were separating, walking away from the lives we had made together. Sitting in the carriage, being taken on a tour by a driver and beautiful horses, Nick covering me with a blanket, it all fell away. Just as the snow fell from the sky, landing on and around us.
None of it made sense.
None of it could.
I’d accept that because, without even realizing it, I think if there was such a thing as a miracle, then this was ours.
Whether or not it lasted seemed irrelevant, just that I closed my eyes and made sure I soaked it up so that I could remember it. Now and forever.
Chapter 24
rock around the tree
Nick
