Page 77 of What Happens This Christmas
“Oh, we’re not done, sweet sister of mine,” Eloise said, continuing to name everything she ordered. “We have Caesarsalads, vegetable sandwiches on that ciabatta bread you like so much, spaghetti pomodoro with chicken breast, a pizza with blue cheese, sundried tomatoes, and wild mushrooms. For our main course, we have one fourteen-ounce prime rib eye I thought we could share because, let’s face facts, this is a lot of food. Steamed asparagus, a baked potato, and for dessert, a chocolate cake with Madagascar vanilla cream filling.”
My jaw was practically on the floor. “They must have wondered exactly who was staying in this room.” And the old Candy would have cared about that point, but the new Candy didn’t care, not even one bit. It was nothing more than a mere observation.
Eloise brushed my comment off, just as I knew she would. “Whatever. It’s like the best Christmas Eve ever!”
Unlikely.I supposed it was all about perception. The way I perceived it was that it was different than all the other Christmas Eves I’d experienced, but different wasn’t always bad. Especially because I was spending this one with my sister. Although I would have liked to spend it with…
No.
Enough of that.
I didn’t want to think about him.
It was too hard.
I could feel my eyes getting misty, and the last thing I wanted to do was cry.
I wasn’t a crier, and I’d done enough of that lately as it was. Having his arms wrapped around me made me feel like it was all going to be okay, and not having that…
Let’s just say that I didn’t want to cry if I didn’t have him to make me feel better.
Eloise smiled, waggling her brows. “And if you want a sundae later, we can call them back. Just say the word.”
I nodded. “You got it.”
“That’s not the word,” she joked, elbowing me lightly in the ribs.
I rolled my eyes.
“Listen, enough about food. Back to Virginia and this woman,” Eloise said. My preference would be to talk about anything but that. “It has to be a total misunderstanding, him and her talking at the pub. In fact”—she pointed a finger at me—“I’m going on the record right now, saying that no way did Nick want Virginia to set him up with a woman.”
Did she think I was dense? Never did I assume that Nick would have wanted that. In fact, on the contrary. I was sure he was blindsided by the entire thing. It was never about that. I ran a hand through my hair, licking my lips, tasting the remnants of the food I’d eaten on them.
“No need to go on the record. I already know that. That knowledge aside, it’s still too much. Virginia is never going to change. She is exactly who she is, for better or worse. I’d argue for worse, but I don’t care to get into that.” I wasn’t one to keep the name of the person I disliked in my mouth. It was below me. For the purpose of this conversation, I’d entertain it. “Virginia was well aware that we were working our way toward a divorce in the new year, and she took advantage of it, preying on the delicate situation. It was playing dirty, even for her.” I swallowed thickly, my heart racing as I tried to understand the motives of a sour woman. “To think that she pushed a woman on him. It’s despicable, is what it is. It’s also a reminder.” It was only supposed to last until after the holidays, and it had, more or less. Definitely less. But we’d almost made it, and it was only because I’d asked him to do that.
“She’s—”
“Never going to change,” I reiterated, appreciating Eloise’s attempt at trying. “But that’s beside the point. It was the final straw, if that makes any sense. It made me realize that maybeVirginia was right all along, so I decided to leave. Walk away while I still could.” Otherwise, I risked facing Nick, and talking to him might only make me change my mind. I couldn’t take that chance. I had to be strong enough to put an end to this for the both of us.
Eloise was shaking her head frantically, her fingers attacking the plate of chicken wings. Waving one in the air while she spoke, she asked, “How can she be right?” She took a bite, moaning as she enjoyed her food. “You’re meant to be together. You two are married, for crying out loud. He’d never leave you. He’d never cheat on you.” She smacked her lips together. “Girlie, you have it better than most women. Trust me.” What was that supposed to mean? Never mind. I couldn’t get into any of that. I could barely keep my mind from racing a million miles a minute. I didn’t need anything else adding to what I could only assume would turn into a raging headache.
“You’re forgetting one tiny piece of information.” And bytiny, I meant monumental. “He told me he was divorcing me.” Those words would forever live rent-free inside my head, a constant reminder of everything that I had done wrong. At least I’d have my own self-guilt to keep me warm at night. It wouldn’t be the same as Nick’s body, but it was something.
“That’s in the past. Things change.” She reached for another wing. “I mean, I see the way you look at each other. More importantly, the way that man looks at you, like he’d do unspeakable things for you.”
I plucked some of the baked potato from the plate, seeing it as a much-needed distraction from this exhausting conversation. “That’s all well and good, but it’s not enough to hold a marriage together.”
As silence descended on us, all I could think about was missing out on the sign that came from the room service attendant, Nick. How likely was it?Very. It’s a common name.“Do you believe in signs?” I randomly asked Eloise, needing to know where she stood on the topic. “Or miracles?”
Angling her head, she looked at me. It seemed as though she had never considered either question before with how long she took to answer. Then, finally, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “Maybe. I like to believe neither exists, if I’m being honest, because then that would mean I might have missed my opportunity for true love. But for you, Cici, yes, I think they both exist. That’s why I’m telling you I’m so sure about you and Nick. Don’t make me out to be a lovesick, romantic puppy. I know a long-lasting couple when I see one. Old and gray together. Remember, saggy? That’s you two. All things have their season. This too will come to pass, and you’ll soon be in a new season where you’re reunited, together again, and more confident in your love than ever before.”
That was quite the speech. One that I wanted to believe, but it felt like a thing from the movies, not real life. “I never belonged in his world. I tried to because Nick was there, and I wanted to be with him, but maybe those women had been right. I’ve been fooling myself, and I’m sick of being a fool.” I’d gone from being so sure I wasn’t a fool to knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I was, and I hated it. Rightly so.
Her ears perked up on that last part. “What women? What’d they say?” Eloise sounded like she wanted to hunt them down and go a few rounds with them, whoevertheywere.
In another world, I might have let her, even enjoyed seeing it play out, but certainly not this world. I shut my eyes briefly and shook my head. “It’s nothing. It’s not important. Forget I said anything.”
She narrowed her eyes and tightened her jaw. “Okay, but only because I have a question. Can you honestly see the rest of your life without Nick Crane?”
