Page 36 of Blocked Shot
This is wrong.
So, so wrong.
Not because she doesn’t want him. She wants him in a way that terrifies her.
This isn’t fair. Not to Jesse, and definitely not to Jake.
Her hands grip his hair. Her body’s still pressed to his. But her heart stutters painfully in her chest as her mind catches up.
“I—” she gasps, the word catching in her throat. Her breath comes out uneven, shallow. Her eyes widen as guilt crashes into the heat of the moment.
“I shouldn’t have…” Her voice falters.
Jake blinks, his grip on her loosening, confusion flickering in his gaze. “Nat, please don’t…”
“I’m so sorry, I should go,” she blurts, easing herself out of his embrace. The warmth of his hands disappears, replaced by the cold air as she turns, yanking open the door.
“Natalie, wait. Let’s talk about this.”
But she’s already gone, slipping into the elevator, her pulse racing, her lips still tingling from the kiss she never should have given.
CHAPTER 18
NATALIE
Natalie moves around Jesse’s small apartment, putting the final touches on the Christmas dinner she had somehow managed to pull together in his cramped kitchen. The smell of roasted turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, and freshly baked rolls fills the space. She and Mila decorated the windows with twinkling fairy lights, lending a warm glow to the walls.
They also set up a sad little Christmas tree in the corner, dressing it with tangled tinsel and mismatched ornaments Natalie had unearthed from a dusty box in her parents’ basement labeled ‘Xmas—maybe?’ By the time they got to the tree lot, only a few stragglers remained—each one looking like it had lost a bar fight. Mila ceremoniously christened their lopsided tree Charlie and declared it a humble icon.
A folding table, covered in a festive plaid tablecloth, sits in the dining area, surrounded by mismatched folding chairs pulled in to accommodate extra guests. Jesse buzzes around it excitedly, setting out the last of the place settings.
It’s a far cry from the elaborate holiday dinners their mom used to make, but Natalie is determined to make it special.
“Nat, this looks amazing,” Jesse says, hopping up on the counterand grabbing a dinner roll from a basket, which Mila promptly smacks out of his hands. “You really went all out.”
“I wanted to,” Natalie replies, smoothing down her apron. “It’s your first Christmas here.”
The kitchen is Natalie’s sanctuary today, as she throws herself into cooking, focusing on every slice of the knife, every swirl of the spoon, anything to keep from thinking too much. She mashes the potatoes with a little more force than necessary, presses her lips together as she bastes the turkey, and kneads dough until her arms ache. She tells herself if she keeps busy, she can push the memory of last night out of her mind. She can convince herself it didn’t matter.
But every time she slows down, a fever-like flush creeps in, insistent and unwelcome.
Mila moves toward the fridge to grab the cranberry sauce, only to bump directly into Jesse, who is perched on the counter. “Jesse, move,” she huffs, bumping him lightly with her hip.
“You move,” Jesse teases, refusing to budge.
Mila swats at him with a dish towel as a knock sounds at the door. Jesse hops off the counter. “They’re here!” he says, bouncing out of the room.
“I swear he’s part Labrador,” Mila says, laughing. “It’s like they took out part of his brain to make room for more love.”
Natalie is quiet, lost in thought as she whisks the gravy bubbling on the stovetop.
She had cried herself to sleep last night, the weight of uncertainty pressing down on her like a thick blanket. Every time she closed her eyes, she felt the ghost of his lips on hers, the heat of his touch. Mixed with the intense longing had been fear. Fear of what this meant, of what it would do to Jesse, of what she would do if she let herself want him too much.
“Natalie?” Mila’s voice cuts through the fog in her head. She blinks, realizing she’s been standing still, gripping the whisk in her hand too tightly. Mila is watching her with quiet concern, her blue eyes knowing. “Are you okay?”
“I—yeah,” Natalie says quickly, too quickly. She forces a smile, but Mila isn’t fooled.
“You’ve been quiet all day.” Mila lowers her voice so Jesse won’t hear. “Does this have to do with Jake?”
