Page 76 of Blocked Shot
Jake frowns, his jaw tightening. “To you?”
“To both of us.”
Her voice cracks, and then it’s like the dam breaks. She shakes her head rapidly, her breaths coming quicker.
“I don’t—I don’t understand. I was always careful. I never wanted him to feel like he was anything less than wanted. I made sure he knew that no matter what, I was there for him. That I wanted to be there for him.”
Her voice wobbles, and Jake’s hands tighten on the wheel as something sharp and painful lodges in his chest.
“I raised him,” she continues, her voice rising. “Since he was thirteen. I was the one who made sure he had what he needed, that he didn’t feel alone. I gave up so much for him, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. But now, now he thinks I don’t want him? That he’s better off without me?”
She shakes her head again, pressing a hand against her forehead like she can push the thought away. “I don’t know how to fix this. If I lose Jesse?—”
Her voice breaks, and she stops abruptly, staring out the window, her chest rising and falling in quick, unsteady motions.
Jake’s grip on the steering wheel turns his knuckles white. He jerks the car into a parking spot in the garage below his building, throws it in park, and turns fully toward her. The fluorescent lights above them cast a glow over her face, highlighting the worry creased between her brows.
“Look at me,” he says, his voice steady now. When she doesn’t, he reaches out, gently tipping her chin until her gaze meets his. “Jesse will come around. He’s your brother. He loves you. He needs you.”
Her breath stutters, her lips parting slightly. For a moment, she stares at him, and he can see the war waging inside her. The weight of everything she’s been carrying presses down on her delicate frame, and he wants—no, needs—to take some of it from her.
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispers.
Jake reaches across the console, threading his fingers through hers. “You don’t have to know. Just please don’t shut me out again.”
She blinks quickly, then nods. He squeezes her hand and sees Natalie drop her gaze, not meeting his eyes. “Okay.”
He’s never seen her like this—so shaken, so raw. An icy fear snakes through him, because if she thinks she’s losing Jesse, she might try to fix it the only way she knows how.
By letting go of him. And he can’t let that happen.
“Natalie.” His voice is low, careful, but she doesn’t look at him. “You’re not losing Jesse.”
“He won’t talk to me, Jake. He barely looks at me. If he really believes what he said—” She swallows hard. “I have to fix this. He’s my family.”
Jake’s stomach twists. “I know he is. But that doesn’t mean you have to fix it alone.”
She finally turns to him then, her expression wrecked, and he feels it like a fist to the ribs. “I might not have a choice.”
Something dark slithers inside him, turning his insides cold. “What does that mean?”
She hesitates, but he can see the war inside her, the way her hands tremble against her lap. And then, too quietly, she says, “It means I have to do whatever it takes to make sure Jesse knows he’s not a burden.”
The implication hits like a gut punch. She doesn’t say it outright, but he knows where her mind is going—what she thinks she has to sacrifice to keep her brother close.
His fingers tighten around hers, his pulse roaring in his ears.
“So, what?” he says, forcing the words out. “You think being with me is hurting him?”
She flinches. “I don’t know.”
Jake swallows against the sharp sting in his throat. “Don’t do this, Nat. Don’t shut me out because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared,” she whispers, but he hears the lie in it.
He reaches up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing down her neck, to stroke the fine chain of her mother’s necklace. “You don’t have to know the right answer right now. But don’t make the decision for him. And don’t make it for me, either.”
She blinks quickly, then nods, reaching up to cup his hand to her face like it’s the only thing tethering her to the moment. “Okay.”
