Page 11 of A Dream Shrouded in Fury
His faint hesitation was answer enough, and I made up my mind right there.If he refused to eat, I would kill him.It would be clear he had no interest in living.If he took the bowl…
Duty screamed at me to act.What did it matter if hewantedto live?He was a stranger in our territory looking to start a war.His brokenness was irrelevant.Those lost, desperate stares into the abyss meant nothing.
The curl in his upper lip grew more pronounced, but he reached for the bowl and forced down mouthful after mouthful, hiding a grimace with every bite.And I… I was relieved.Relieved that he cared enough to keep breathing.
What was I doing?
I grasped at the excuse that he might have more to tell me—any reason to keep him alive a little while longer.
While he ate, I stared at his scars, the symbols etched into his flesh.Now that he was sitting up, I noticed more along the lines of his shoulders, at least another twelve, bringing them to a total of nineteen, and had to wonder if they were connected with his desire for revenge.
Jael finished his meal and handed me the bowl.“You were right.I needed that.”
Taking it as the closest I would get to a thank you, I acknowledge it with a “You’re welcome.”
“It needs some leffis leaf.”
I frowned.“What’s that?”
“A common enough plant.Looks sort of like a feather.Adds a peppery flavour to the broth.”
We sat in silence for a while, and I felt strangely comfortable.All my life I’d been told that strangers were a threat.We had to kill them on sight because their first act would be to try to kill us.But so far Jael had made no attempt on my life.On the contrary, the first thing he’d done was to offer me his.It wasn’t that I doubted Thorn’s concerns.I knew what the dangers were, knew how recklessly I was dangling over the fire.And yet, in Jael’s company, I felt refreshed.I’d found something novel and unexpected for the first time in my life, and it was as exciting as it was terrifying.
“You’re not going to ask?”
Jael’s quiet question startled me out of my musing.“Ask what?”
“Why I would have plunged two countries into war for my personal revenge?”
I searched his expression for guilt, for grief—for any sign that he was trying to play me.His face was devoid of emotion, his eyes empty pools of hard green glass, but I doubted the blandness was real.
“I assume you had your reasons,” I said.
And I assumed those reasons would be nothing I could bring back to the fury to justify my crime of not killing him.
He scoffed.“That’s a generous outlook.”
“You were willing to die for your revenge.It tells me that whatever you suffered was bad enough to give up everything to get back at him.No one becomes a rebel unless they’ve been pushed to the breaking point.”
He stared at me, his lips parted, and I smiled back, hoping it hid the turbulent, traitorous feelings roiling inside my chest as well as my curiosity about a dozen other subjects I would much rather have discussed.“Get some more rest.Tomorrow we’ll see if we can get you up and walking.”
Jael
VII
I didn’t know how long I slept.Time meant nothing in this cave where sunlight wasn’t invited.But when I opened my eyes, my wounds were almost gone.The only one that remained was what should have been the deathblow, and it was nothing more than a patch of red skin that ached when I moved.
Giving myself to death was no longer an option—something I’d accepted the moment I’d agreed to keep eating that bland, lumpy stew, the flavour of which lingered on my palate like a film.No wonder vampires didn’t eat.
Now that I wasn’t dying, however, I wondered if I should have regretted being so open with Kalla about my reasons for being out here.I doubted she would run to Soldara to give up the rest of the rebels, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t endangered them.Who knew what these vampires might do to make their lives easier.
Yet I had no wish to take the words back.Kalla’s response to them had been so… practical.There had been no pity, no judgement, noanger, and by the sky, was it a relief to have a conversation that didn’t revolve around rage.Within the Coynfare, every discussion and exchange had ultimately come back to Leonine and our mission.There had been no escape from it.
Kalla had no idea who Leonine was.She knew how to smile, how to relax, and her lack of anger had triggered my muscles to relax as well.
I’d laughed, for the sky’s sake.
How long had it been since I’d done that?I’d believed my laughter had gone the way of my magic, lost to the black emptiness Leonine had made of my once vibrant soul.But her questions had been a distraction, and seeing the fae through the eyes of someonenotus had been… interesting.Just as interesting as learning that everything I’d been taught about vampires might have been an exaggerated version of the truth.
