Page 18 of A Dream Shrouded in Fury
I pulled on my breeches, then doused two of the three candles burning on the table, leaving one lit for Jael’s sake but tucking it behind the cooking pot so the light didn’t spread too far.
Legs shaking, he lowered himself onto the side of the bed and buried his fingers in his white-blond hair.“I don’t know.I don’t see why they would.They had survivors.We didn’t.”
“You survived,” I pointed out, and he raised a ravaged gaze in my direction at the harsh reminder.
With a curse, I paced the length of the room.I was such.A.Fool.I should have returned to the fury the moment I found Jael alive.If there were fae wandering these woods, Thorn needed to know.Our scouts would be in danger without the warning.
“What am I doing?What was I even thinking?”No, I knew what I’d been thinking.That I could enjoy my break from reality and not have the consequences carry into the rest of my life.Naive.Childish.
“Kalla—” Jael stood and reached for me, but I whirled on him before he could say anything else.
“No.The fact that you survived, that you’re here, with me,breathing, means I’m a traitor to my fury.The fury comes first.Everyone else is an enemy and no strangers are allowed to live.The safety of our entire community depends on it.”
His throat bobbed, and he stepped back.He was still shirtless, the red slash across his middle a glaring accusation of everything I’d done that I shouldn’t have.Despite everything, I couldn’t regret it, which was why the hurt in his eyes was such a stab to my heart.
“So what does that mean?”he asked.“You brought me back from the grave and now you’re going to kill me?”
“No!”I shoved my hands through my hair and forced myself to speak quietly.“No, of course not.I couldn’t—I—” I paced the length of the room, panic overwhelming me.In all these days, I hadn’t begun to wrap my mind around what needed to come next.Such a fool.“I won’t kill you.I can’t kill you.But if you tell anyone about me—or what I’ve told you—”
Jael stalked towards me, his lithe form panther-like with its smooth, deliberate movements.He held up his hands as though to soothe a frightened animal, and his green eyes were so open, sohonestwhen he said, “Who would I tell?”
My breath caught in my chest at the steadiness in his gaze.At the gleam of worry in his eyes.Worry.For me.For a vampire he’d just met.From a fae who strove to bury every hint of emotion.What was happening?Why couldn’t I breathe?
I focused on the problem in front of me.“Anyone?When you leave—”
He dipped his head to hold my gaze.“You saved me, Kalia me.Even if I had a home to return to, I would never repay that by betraying you.”
Kalia.Such a slight mispronunciation of my name that I might have thought he’d gotten it wrong if he hadn’t recited that poetry to me.Kalia lutrena.Song of the lily.His lily.
My lungs strained, my breath coming in even shallower gasps, but the cause had shifted.When he was sure I wouldn’t run, he set his hands on my shoulders and pulled me to his solid frame.I rested my cheek against his chest and dragged in gasps of sunshine and fresh-cut grass.Against my will, my hands slid around his waist, and we stood there holding each other as though to let go would be to collapse.
“I don’t understand any of this,” I murmured, turning my head so my forehead rested against him.“You say you lost your magic, but what other reason do you have for why the thought of leaving you makes me want to scream?”
He chuckled, the sound rumbling through me.“I was ready to blame your vampiric allure for the same thing.”
One of his hands came up to stroke my hair, and I closed my eyes under the softness of his touch.When was the last time I’d allowed this kind of tenderness?Ever?Usually with my partners, as soon as we finished, I was gone.I liked to scratch the itch, not stick around for the pillow talk.In Jael’s arms, however, I was in no rush to leave.On the contrary, I tightened my grip on him, wanting him to stay here forever.
He had to go.I knew that.He’d recovered enough that he would be fine on his own, so I would let him leave and accept the consequences that awaited me when I returned home.
“Where will you go?”I asked.
His shoulders rose and fell in a slow shrug, and I raised my head to look up at him.For a moment, he looked so lost, as though the entire world had forsaken him.“I don’t know.Maybe I should go after that carriage?Try to finish what we started?But I don’t… I don’t know that I want to anymore, Kalla.”
He dropped onto the bed, bringing me with him so we sat side by side.For a breath, silence hung over us.I strained my ears to pick up more of those voices outside, but for now they’d disappeared.
Jael heaved a breath and leaned his cheek on the crown of my head.“When I woke up after the ambush, I was disappointed.Horrified.After eight years of terror and six years of hating, I’d finally found peace.I thought I’d survived only to find myself in another hell, but here—with you—that peace hasn’t faded.The scars are still there, the anger is still there, but they no longer consume me.You reminded me there’s more to this world than one person’s crimes.So I don’t know.”He brushed a loose hair out of my face and cupped my cheek in his hand so I faced him, our lips mere inches apart.“But wherever I wind up, you have nothing to fear from me”
His scent overwhelmed me.Sweet winds, fresh water.I heard his rapid heartbeat, felt the strength of his hands where they held me.Caught the desperation that flickered across his expression.
“As strange as it is, you’re the only person I have left in the world.”
His voice was a caress in my ear, and I latched on to it.I had so many people waiting for me, relying on me.Yet in this moment, he was all that existed.
We couldn’t stay here forever.This little bubble we’d made for ourselves had to pop eventually, and soon.That fae magic—the way it had brushed across my skin like a tangible shadow—and those voices had to mean more of them were close.I needed to go home today, and Jael needed to escape our territory.But if there were guards scouting the area, he might be caught.They could finish what they’d started during the ambush.I might never know if he made it past them.Or I might stumble across his corpse one day.
I ran my hands up his chest and curled my fingers into his hair.His eyes blazed when they met mine.
Can I kiss you?
