Page 81 of Wild Pitch
Nodding, “Thanks, bro.”
Even the fucking airplane made me think of Kylie. Fuck. The worst part? I still couldn’t sleep on a plane, and instead of passing the time reading as I usually did, my mind continued to replay our last night.
Whatever hurt she had felt, she’d get over it. She would be better off with someone her age, someone who could give her the life she wanted. Ten years from now, Kylie might remember me, but she wouldn’t be living a life where she’d have to accept less than everything. She deserved everything.
Fuck. I sat forward in my seat, held my face in my hands, and choked back a sob.
The flight attendant stopped by to check on me.
“Is everything okay?”
“Can I get a bourbon?”
“With ice?”
“No, thank you. Neat. And a double if you can.”
The warmth of the bourbon spread through me, providing a numbness I had sought since Kylie had left. My phone remained on airplane mode, not because I couldn’t access the Wi-Fi, but because at some point, Jake had enlisted Molly into my sordid tale.
My sister was persistent. She’d been looking forward to meeting Kylie when she arrived for a visit in two weeks. Kylie was the first woman I had mentioned to her outside of Sky, and she wouldn’t let it go.
Molly and Skylar had a complicated relationship. The age gap had prevented Sky from ever seeing Molly as a grown adult, and the two had argued like siblings. The fact that Kylie wasyounger than Molly had not escaped me, and maybe that had something to do with Molly’s excitement.
While my brother understood I needed space, my sister thought I needed her in my space.
After the initial view of Instagram, I hadn’t been tempted to return to it. Further proof that I was over Skylar, but her pregnancy highlighted every single failure of my marriage. I had always been in command of my body, and then I got injured, lost out on the baseball career I had been promised. When I was unable to get Sky pregnant, it was one more time my body failed me. The tool that had always performed exactly as I demanded failed me when I needed it.
A therapist would undoubtedly have a field day with my baggage. But no amount of therapy would convince me that Kylie deserved the same fate as I did. I planned to be miserable alone; no need to draw anyone else into it.
Should I have been more upfront with Kylie? Definitely, but it was only when Sky announced her pregnancy that I confirmed I was the problem. Things had changed in the past few weeks. I’d relaxed and grown hopeful. Started to see a future, only to have that ripped right out from under me.
When the plane touched down in Fort Walton, I waited for the relief to wash over me. All I wanted to do was call Kylie. This was the first year I hadn’t spent the winter in Destin, mainly because Kylie couldn’t get much time off from work and because I had started to feel like Boston was my home. Without Kylie, it no longer felt like I belonged.
During the flight, I missed the notification from my doorbell camera, but I watched the video while I waited for the plane to taxi to the skybridge.
Kylie had gone to the door and entered her code. Her face when she realized it no longer worked felt like a blade to the heart. I put my earbuds in so I could hear the sound.
It picked up everything. The shakiness of her breath when she whimpered. Fuck. She fucking whimpered.
“Hey,” Jake opened the door. “Are you okay?”
“I need to talk to Luc.”
“He’s not here. He left town.”
I watched, unable to tear myself away, as my brother consoled her on the front steps—the sound of her sobs muffled by Jake’s shoulder.
The flight attendant tapped me on the shoulder. The plane had emptied while I watched the video of my heartbroken girlfriend being consoled by my brother.
Ex-girlfriend.
Everything in me rebelled at that label.
I schooled my face and thanked the flight crew on the way out, made my way to baggage claim, and ordered a rideshare. When I pulled up in front of our oceanfront house, I unlocked the door and waited for the relief I always found in this place.
The white sand was as beautiful as always, but it might as well have been ash for as much as it did for me.
Sun, Sea, and Salt. The usual ingredients for instant improved moods did nothing.
