Page 83 of Wild Pitch
Crew banged his highchair for more, creating a brief distraction while I checked my cycle tracker app to see when Ihad my last period. It wasn’t regular, but I hadn’t had one since mid-December.
“I used the morning-after pill…”
Kelsey dropped down into a seat at the counter, watching me carefully as my hands shook.
“Breathe. Whatever happens, you will be okay. I promise.”
My stomach turned, and I barely reached the sink before losing the little I had eaten.
“H-h-he doesn’t want kids,” I forced out before I dry-heaved again. I hadn’t even thought about the possibility until Kelsey asked, and now I felt stupid for missing the signs.
Kelsey rubbed my back and watched Crew eat at the same time.
“Who is he?”
I shook my head, refusing to answer her. “It’s not important. It’s over.”
“Let me clean up, Crew, and when I put him down, you can use one of my pregnancy tests.”
“You stock pregnancy tests?” I asked, a wry laugh forced out of me.
“Anxiety. It’s easier to take a test daily and know than to worry about it.”
When Crew finished eating, she brought him up to bed. I stood outside his room and then followed her to the bathroom. When she opened the cabinet, there were dozens of boxes of pregnancy tests.
“Here, take these three.”
“I’m pretty sure I only need one.”
She passed me a paper cup and stood against the counter, opening the test wrappers while I filled it with urine.
“Do your boobs hurt?”
I nodded. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I’d tried so hard to bury myself in work, I’d completely ignored my body.
“I’m going to be here for you. Whatever you need, understand?”
Silent nod. She dipped the three tests in the cup and preserved the remainder just in case.
“Are we supposed to walk away and leave these here?”
“Is that what you want to do?”
No, I wanted all three to be negative. Then I could eat a tuna sandwich with a large glass of wine downstairs.
“I can’t do anything until I know.”
We watched the tests. The pink dye test gave me the first positive, followed by a blue dye test. The digital test flashed PREGNANT last, but with that one, there was no question.
With that, I stood outside my nephew’s room and peeked in on him while he slept. I remembered when I found out Kelsey was pregnant, how she’d been devastated to leave school, confused and scared about her future. But she loved and wanted that little boy from the moment she knew he existed.
“Kylie, what are you thinking?”
“You knew right away that you were going to keep him?”
“Not exactly. I wasn’t thinking of anything that first day. Take the time to process. I promise you, you’re going to be okay.”
“But am I? Would you be if it weren’t for Sam?”
