Page 90 of Wild Pitch
“There’s not much to see, yet. I’m only fourteen weeks.”
“The broken condom?”
I nodded. “It would appear so.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, as if in pain, and then stared into my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Kylie. I fucked up.”
“Yeah, you did.”
“After I got off the phone with you, I called Sky.”
A sharp pang of jealousy flared up inside me. God, I hated that his ex-wife could still make me feel like I wasn’t enough for him.
“When we were still together, we were trying to start a family—for years we tried. And throughout that entire time, I watched Skylar take negative test after negative test. It killed me I couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.”
He paused, his eyes welling up, breath ragged.
“It’s why I was so clear when I told you that kids weren’t in my future.”
“I didn’t ask you to have a baby, Luc. I’ve had some time to come to terms with the pregnancy, and today, I want it, yes. But in January? No. I only wanted you. I was happy with you. You were enough for me.”
A sob escaped from him, and he bit down on his fist to hold back the emotion.
“I always wanted a family. And it fucking killed that it wasn’t my future. It hurt so goddamned much that I refused to subject you to that pain.”
I squeezed my eyes closed, willing myself not to cry.
“That wasn’t your decision, Luc. But let’s just put this out there. Youcanhave children.”
I gestured to my belly and pulled my t-shirt taut. He stepped forward again, and I stepped back again. I couldn’t risk physical contact with him, even though I hated seeing him in pain. Fuck, he couldn’t hide it if he tried.
“Yeah, well, it turns out Skylar never stopped taking her pills. So everything I believed, every decision I made, was based on a fucking lie. Oh, and when she cried over the pregnancy tests? I’ve told you she’s a hell of an actress.”
Jesus. Before today, I had moments of hatred for Skylar that I could explain as jealousy. But right now, I despised the woman. I despised her for the pain she caused Luc and the demise of our relationship.
“What do you want from me?” I asked.
“I want everything with you. I want to be there for you, with you. I want to make up for everything I’ve done wrong.”
I wanted to believe him. My God, I wished this could be our moment, the white horse, charging into my life and wiping away the hurt. But I couldn’t trust him anymore. I could see justhow much he wanted children. Was he only back because of the baby?
“Do you know how much I loved you?” I asked.
“Loved?”
“Love. Yes. Present tense, Luc. I still love you.” Relief washed over his face. “But you broke my trust. I bared everything to you, trusted you with every last thought, feeling, fear—and you couldn’t give the same to me.”
“I needed to know that I was enough for you.”
“I knew what I was walking into! You told me on our first fucking date that there weren’t kids in your future. In this case, thewhywas important. You should have fucking told me why!”
“You know I need control. When my body failed me, when I couldn’t control my future, I couldn’t deal with that. I’m sorry.”
“You’ve said that, Luc.”
We were both crying now. I wiped the mutinous tears from my face and stepped back again when Luc moved towards me. God, I couldn’t let him touch me.
