Page 161 of Eternal Ruin
He said nothing, his blood cold with the memory.
“You wanted me to live. You kept saving me before I even knew I was drowning.” She touched her wrist again, the faint imprint of her bracelet still there. Her honesty kept surprising him and he wanted more of it, to get as close as possible to the heart she shielded. “Now, when I touch here, all I remember is your voice. Asking me why I should exist.”
He shifted uncomfortably. “Kidan…”
“No, it’s okay.” She shook her long braids. “It’s a good question. And do you remember what I said?”
The lines in his forehead eased a little. “You want to live, so you will. It is your life to do so as you please.”
She smiled again, broadly this time. “Then want, Yos. Exist without a reason, without being of use. Exist however you were made, human or vampire.”
The incredible hue of a golden sunset drowned out the room. Her pupils widened, taking in the manifestation of joy crowding them.
A traitorous hope spread in his body. Could she truly want him like this?
Susenyos smiled and reached for his worn book, removed the pen tucked into it, flipped to page 27, line 4. Matir’s line.
I crave her like a sickness, knowing she would heal every part of me. She hunts all the weakness I possess. So I clean her face of blood and carry her to bed. She may murder me, yet I fear I will still savor her hands upon me.
He underlined the quote and scratched a note in.
“What are you marking?” she asked, studying the page.
Susenyos snapped the book shut. “Nothing.”
“Wait. Go back to that page. I think I saw something.”
“Yes, my intimate, secret thoughts. You’ll have to try harder than that.”
A line appeared between her delightful brows when he hid the book behind him. “You’ve read that book a thousand times,” she said.
Susenyos reached out with his thumb, smoothing the furrow on her skin. She stilled and too late, he realized he was doing it again. Touching her as if it was theeasiest thing in the world to do. He let himself linger, enjoy the reactions of her face. He wished he could hear her heartbeat. Know if it was racing as much as his human heart was.
“That’s because I find something new each time,” he said, his voice growing rough. “It feels written to me in a way other books aren’t. Guides me, I suppose.”
“I never asked you. When did you first read it?”
“I was nineteen. Found it in the woods the day I almost died.”
“In the woods?”
“Yes, I like to think a goddess left it to me.”
Kidan raised a skeptical brow, then pursed her lips. “Fine, don’t tell me.”
He smiled. She thought he was lying. Reaching for her hand, Susenyos placed it on his cheek, shutting his eyes at the hesitant and then soft caress.
The scent of eucalyptus and rose oil swept over him, her desire matching his so perfectly, he was afraid to kiss her. Like bringing two twitching electric wires together.
She appeared frightened too, aware of how much control they had over one another, their connection had never been this intense, this intimate.
He leaned his head in, heart seizing. The sound of war drums echoed through the mist. Fear and desire circled each other in a dance.
“Fitting,” he murmured. “I feel like I’m about to die.”
Kidan let out a breath in agreement.
They were more nervous than ever. Susenyos licked over her lips, oh so softly, and felt every bone in him groan in delight. Kidan parted her mouth slightly and he slipped his tongue in, only a little, touching hers. A thousand jolts shot to his lower abdomen.
