Page 188 of Eternal Ruin
Her limbs were trembling. “I have no secrets.”
Taj smiled, eyes shining. “Do you even know what you’ve done? For sixty years, we’d been unable to share what we know. You’ve freed us.”
Despite her body feeling wrung out, June gave him a small smile. It felt great to use her knowledge for good.
She became aware of how quiet the garden was, how alone they were, and the heat coming off Taj’s body even on this chilly evening. She brushed her skirt, searching for something to say.
Warde spoke into her mind.Tell him to go away.
June smiled, shaking her head.
The estate was surrounded by eight gardens, all of which June loved. Taj sat on the ivy-covered bench, and after a while, she sat too.
Even from here, June could hear faint grunts of pain piercing the night, making her wince. How could Kidan stand it all?
There was a darkness to her sister. Something June had tried very hard not to see.
“Kidan… She’s not coming out, is she?”
“For some people,” Taj said slowly, “they need the violence. After everything that’s been taken from them, it’s the only way to make themselves whole.”
June turned to him, taking in his frame, the smooth planes of his brown face. “You’re out here as well.”
“I have other intentions.” He flashed her a handsome smile and studied her from the corner of his eye. “Rasi wasn’t compelled.”
June fisted the folds of her lilac skirt.
Taj shook his long locs. “One of these days, June, you’ll tell me how the hell you know things you shouldn’t.”
“Maybe I’m just wise,” she said to the ground, voice muffled.
Taj laughed softly. “Maybe. Maybe we’re all fools to underestimate you.”
The side of her face tingled with his lingering gaze.
A dead leaf fell on her lap, and she studied the cracks on it.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked.
“Always.”
“I know what the Nefrasi went through under Lusidio’s command. I know each of their names. I know why some can’t sleep, eat, or drink. Why some want to kill or are sensitive to the sun or hunger. I’ve tried to help them all with the medicines I mix. Tried to make them forget the torture they went through, but you…” she said, and he lifted his chin, making her suck in a breath. “I haven’t met a Nefrasi like you.”
He flashed her a smile. “Handsome?”
June’s face ignited, but her voice was weighted with something she couldn’t identify. “Someone who isn’t affected by all the suffering you went through. You don’t need me.”
You don’t need me to be good.
June immediately regretted her words, afraid she’d said too much.
Taj released a slow breath and looked away, which was odd because he never did that.
“Sometimes, I think there’s something seriously wrong with me.” He spoke to the star-dusted sky, chin tilted up. “I was there for all of it, the war, Lusidio’storture, the death, and it was horrible.” A shudder waved through him. “Most of the Nefrasi think I can’t take anything seriously. Even in the Farah war, I’d go tent to tent in that awful mud that’d mat my hair together and try to make them laugh. If even one person laughed that day, I’d feel this… relief.” He touched his chest. “I need to hear laughter, June. So I guess I do need something from you after all.”
With each word, June’s smile had widened until she was almost grinning. Her chest squeezed again, different than before.
He is different.
