Page 67 of Eternal Ruin
Was he talking about the companionship ceremony?
“Then stop drinking from others. Drink only from me,” she said, knowing he still visited the blood courting room, and the image made her stomach twist.
He laughed against her hand, pulling away. His eyes swirled with so much light, it made her dizzy. Slowly, they grew dark, an endless tunnel.
“What?” she whispered.
He was quiet for a moment. The world stopped moving entirely, waiting for him to speak.
“Will you let me drink from you always?” he asked.
She nodded quickly.
“Even when you’re angry at me?”
“I’m not angry with you.”
“In this room. Now. But outside, you will be. You are often.”
Her gaze dropped a little.
He lifted her chin, eyes soft. “I don’t want your blood to rule us. I don’t want obligated devotion.” He traced her frowning top lip. “I want you to come and go as you please. And I want the same for me. We will grow to resent one another like this, yené Kidan.”
She loved the way he said her name but not like this. Not when he looked so miserable.
“We won’t.”
She wanted to convince him everything would be well. As long as they met here, in the broom closet, they would be well.
“This vow… As much as I crave your blood, I need freedom more.”
Was he talking about Matir and Roana’s vow? If he no longer wanted to play those roles, they didn’t need to.
Her lashes swept upward. “You are free, Yos.”
“No,” he whispered, forehead pressing against hers.
He was growing dark around the edges again, and she didn’t like it. Did he not want to be her companion anymore? But they made sense together, like the moon orbiting the earth, one following the other across the burning stars.
“There are many things I’m a slave to,” Susenyos confessed, pupils extinguished of light.
With those words, the energy of the room shifted, wavered, and broke. Their eyes darted to the slit of the door at the same time as a wave of blue ocean streamed inside.
Kidan leaned away from it, toward him, eager to brush their lips together and chase away the cold.
But Susenyos pulled away, and this time his smile wasn’t full. Before Kidan could speak, he was on his feet.
“Don’t—” She cut off, hating the way her voice sounded so weak.
Don’t leave, she wanted to say.
A withdrawn look crossed Susenyos’s face, perhaps pity. “I was selfish bringing you here. I should have let you visit it alone.”
Cold disappointment poured into her. Kidan stared at the ground. She wouldn’t watch him leave. After a moment, the door closed behind him.
When he left, he took all the light with him, down to the last firefly. Kidan tucked her knees under her chin, sadness and anger swirling inside her like a small tornado.
Hewasselfish, making her taste such forbidden things, only to strip them away.
