Page 78 of Winds of Darkness
Ashtine nodded. She knew this. Knew that all Ermir had done when raising her was trying to not only prepare her for her role but also keep her from expectations as long as he could. There was no preparing her for battling the winds, though, let alone finding a way to love them. For a time, she had. Ermir and others made sure to constantly tell her how special her gifts were.
“You said my mother eventually found a way to live in harmony with the winds,” Ashtine mused, forcing herself not to break her stare with Ermir.
“She did,” her Second answered, relaxing back into his chair some and crossing one leg over the other. “As you know, unions are traditionally arranged for the Court Royals. Your mother was no different. Ansel was a powerful Wind Fae. It was a union planned from birth despite them not joining in marriage until Ophelia was well into her second century of life.”
“I know of this history,” Ashtine cut in. “What I do not know is how she harnessed the winds.”
Ermir smiled at her sharp tone. “There is much of her in you. The grace and poise, but the tenacity and authority as well. Know she would be proud of you, Ashtine. So incredibly proud.”
She swallowed against the emotion threatening to spill from her eyes, but she remained silent, waiting for him to answer her question.
His smile faded, that same regret filling his features as before when he said, “I have always known how to calm the winds that plague you.”
Ashtine was on her feet before she realized she had moved. Wind tore through the sitting room, sending books and food to the floor. Her feet weren’t even on the ground. “And you have held your tongue for decades?” she demanded. “Despite seeing me slowly succumb to madness?
“Let me explain,” Ermir rasped, and it was only then that Ashtine noted her raised hand and realized she was cutting off his air supply. He was strong, but she was more so.
She immediately dropped her hand. “My apologies,” she said tightly, her toes making contact with the marble floor.
“Do not apologize to me. You have every right to be angry with my actions.”
“You made …” She rolled her lips, trying to figure out how best to word what she was feeling. “You made me feel meek and inadequate for my role, Ermir. You made me feel as though I was failing my Court when my concerns were continually dismissed.”
“They were never dismissed, Ashtine. We wished to take some of that burden from you, not laden you with more. However, despite our best intentions, we see our actions were misguided. Please sit and let me explain.”
“I do not wish to sit,” she snapped.
Ermir nodded, folding his hands as he spoke again. “Your mother found harmony with the winds after she and Ansel were united.”
“You are saying I must find a partner? Wed? That is a ludicrous statement, Ermir,” Ashtine said.
“You misunderstand,” he answered, shaking his head. “I have told you many times that while their union was planned, your parents eventually came to care deeply for one another. She found a haven in Ansel, and he did for her what none of her Inner Court had ever been able to achieve. She often said the winds were quieter when he was near. Over time, I witnessed your mother find a balance with the winds. I do not know her secrets beyond that. I wish I had wisdom to impart, but I do know that when their chattering became relentless, she and Ansel would disappear for days at a time.” He smiled softly. “Albeit, not to the sea.”
Ashtine had slowly lowered back to the sofa while he spoke, and now her fingers curled around the edge of the cushions.
“You believe Briar is this person for me? You believe … We cannot be together, Ermir,” she said, voicing the concern that was old as time itself.
“I am centuries older than you, Ashtine, but my senses are just as sharp. I know well what has been happening here.”
“Well, yes, but one could assume it was simply physical needs being met,” she replied, not meeting his gaze.
“I believe fate brings some people into our lives for a reason,” Ermir answered. “I believe Prince Briar is one of those people, and I believe you owe it to yourself to learn what that reason is. If a relationship with him for a time is what you need to learn that reason, then that is your choice to make.”
“Why did you not tell me of my mother sooner?” Ashtine asked after several quiet moments.
Ermir sighed again. “I did not wish for you to search for another simply as a means to an end,” he answered. “Did I hope that one day your union would bring you the same reprieve? Of course, but I did not want to push you towards such a thing when you were already overwhelmed with omens and duties. Perhaps you will find that same reprieve with another in the future, but if you can find it with Prince Briar for now, I cannot fault you for that.”
She mulled the words over. The thought of finding another did not sound appealing, but surely that was simply because this was so new. Something forbidden made it all the more exciting, and perhaps Ermir was right. She and Briar had discussed not worrying about future trials until they came to pass. And while they certainly needed to think about the future, that didn’t need to keep them from enjoying the present. They both knew this could not last forever. They both understood this was only for a time, and Briar had promised he would always be there for her, with her, whether they were lovers or simply friends. But she would never regret this and what they had found together.
That was what she told herself later that night as they lay next to each other, both having found their pleasure again. He was on his side, head propped on his fist, while his other hand traced along her bare skin. Down her arms, up her sides, along her breasts. They’d enjoyed a quiet dinner tonight on his veranda, but she needed to return to the Wind Court tomorrow. It was time.
“Tell me what worries you carry, my dear,” he murmured, leaning down and brushing his lips along her cheek.
“They are too vast to speak in one night,” she answered. “And I do not wish to spend my final night here speaking of them.”
“Final night does not seem accurate.”
Ashtine frowned. “I already told you I must return home when the sun rises.”
