Page 116 of Tempting-
"I asked Mr. Kane about the best time to fly you out. He wasn't sure."
It's so weird, her calling Brendon Mr. Kane. "Any weekend. I just need to know in advance. Jake will give me the time off." Probably. But even if he doesn't, I'm taking it. I've worked at The Pizza Kitchen long enough. I can find a better job if I have to.
"You're just starting now. You need time to adjust."
"I need to see Grandma."
"I'll check flights. See what I can do with miles. But school needs to come first, sweetie."
School can wait. School can happen next year. Grandma might not be around next year.
But this is the best I'm going to get from Mom.
That's okay. I have my own money. I can buy my own ticket to Jersey. She's not going to stop me once I'm there.
"Okay." My voice is a whisper. It's a million degrees today, but I feel cold. It might be months. And if it might be months, it might be weeks.
"Grandma wants to talk to you. I'll hand the phone over soon. When's your next class?"
"Half an hour."
"Tell me about it."
I do. I spill all the details of my day. My inability to sleep. My talk with Emma this morning. My professor bragging about all her Latin tattoos.
I don't say anything about how awful it feels, knowing Grandma might only have months.
Or about how bullshit it is that they've been keeping that from me.
I don't want to focus on that.
I want to focus on the good. On soaking up what I have while I have it.
"I really am proud of you, Kay. You're such a talented young woman. I wish you could be here," she says.
"I could be there."
"I know, baby. But then you wouldn't be at school. And I didn't want that weight on your conscience. Grandma either. We don't want you to feel guilty for choosing school over family. We don't want you to give up your life."
Something flutters in my chest. Not quite warmth or forgiveness but something close to it.
Mom didn't want guilt on my shoulders.
That's why she didn't give me a choice.
It doesn't excuse everyone treating me like a child.
It doesn't do shit about the realities of the situation.
But it does lessen the sting.
Just enough to make it bearable.
"I love you," she says.
"I love you too."
"I'll grab Nana."
