It's still fucking heavy.
"Brendon?" She tugs at my t-shirt. Her eyes meet mine.Are you okay?
"What's next?"
"Oh." She looks to her cell. Taps the screen a few times. "The English building is this way. I think... It would be stupid, majoring in English."
"No."
"Yeah. Reading and writing aren't jobs."
"They are. But even if that's not what you do—so what? All jobs are communication. That's English."
"Maybe. I don't know. I think... I think my parents expect more."
"They just want you to be happy."
"How do you know?"
"You'll get it if you have kids one day."
"Is that what you want?"
"I don't know. I'm Emma's dad as much as I'm her brother."
"You're good at it. Whatever it is."
"Maybe." I try. It would be fucking amazing, having afamily of my own. One day. But I'm not sure I'm the kind of guy who should be a dad. Or a husband. "Do you want kids?"
"I don't know. It's hard enough taking care of myself. That's so far off... I want to figure out this semester before I move on to the rest of my life."
I follow her along the concrete path.
The campus is beautiful this late. Big green lawn. Dark blue sky. Yellow streetlamps. Brick and concrete everywhere.
Every few minutes, we pass a student. Half are heading to or from the library. The other half are on their way home from a night of over indulging. It's in their messy steps and their habit of staring too long.
We go past every building in her schedule, even the one where her adviser is.
Finally, we stop at the building where Kaylee is taking her creative writing class.
She stares up at it. "I never would have taken this if you hadn't pushed me."
"Is that a thank you?"
"We'll see how it goes." She turns back to me. "I remember when you were younger."
I raise a brow, incredulous.
"There were times when you stormed to your room, all pissed off. But most of the time, you were sitting on the couch, scribbling in your sketchbook. You were a good guy."
I wasn't. That's what she doesn't get.
A good brother, maybe.
But not a good guy.
I used friends for drugs or booze.