Page 228 of Tempting-
It means more. I don't know. My head is fuzzy. Full. My thoughts are going in circles. They're fast but they're slow. I need sleep. And tea. In that order.
It's not an option.
I lug my stuff downstairs and put the kettle on.
Brendon stirs. I can't see him from here but I can hear him.
"Fuck. What time is it?" he asks.
"Early." I grab a mug from the cabinet. The one I made at that paint it yourself pottery place. With Emma. A million years ago. It has a mermaid on it. Well, it's supposed to be a mermaid. It looks more like a blur of beige, green, purple, and red on a blue background. "You can go back to sleep."
"No. We should go soon. There's always traffic."
That's true enough. I stare at the shiny silver kettle, willing it to work faster. I need comfort. Tea. And his arms around me. But when I open my lips to request it, I can't force any words out.
"I better get ready."
"Okay. You want coffee?"
"Thanks." His footsteps move closer. Closer. He steps into the kitchen, wraps his arms around me, pulls my body against his. "I'm sorry, Kay. This is my fault."
No. It's not. He said no. He said this couldn't happen. And I begged him.
Maybe it's not all my fault.
But we share the blame.
He didn't tell me to dig into my lies.
That was all me.
I shake my head.
He runs his fingers through my wet hair.
Tears well up in my eyes. It feels too good being in his arms. It reminds me of how bad everything else is. But I don't want to say any of it. I just want to soak in this comfort while I have it.
The kettle whistles.
I pour hot water over my bag of vanilla black.
"Go." I press my lips to his neck. "Get ready. I can leave as soon as I finish my tea."
"Eat something."
"I'm not hungry."
"Kay, eat something."
"It's my body. Not yours."
He steps back. Hurt flashes in his eyes. But it can't be over that comment. At least, I don't think so.
He turns and moves toward the living room.
"At least make a sandwich for the plane." He climbs up the stairs and disappears into his bedroom.
It's not the worst advice.
