Page 85 of The Cornish Cream Tea Holiday
Chapter Twenty-Two
This, Thea realised, as she, Esme and Alex walked slowly back through Port Karadow towards the twin cottages, was the problem with keeping secrets.
She needed to tell her friend about the bookshop; she wanted to hear what had happened between her and Ben, so she knew just how bad it was, and she wanted to go to Ben and fix things. She was fluttery with panic: worried that, by the time they got back to Sunfish Cottage, the house next door would be empty, Ben would have moved on again, and she would never get another chance to talk to him.
But Ben wasn’t here, and Esme was, and she knew she had to tell her everything. She took a deep breath, and said, ‘You know when we first met, when we were just getting to know each other, I told you my dream was to run a bookshop by the sea?’
‘Of course,’ Esme said. ‘AndItoldyouthat I wanted to move to Las Vegas and open a bookshop there, working during the day and watching the shows at night? It waspart of the reason we became such good friends so quickly: we both love books.’
‘And also that you sort of … rescued me,’ Thea added, because that was part of the fabric of their relationship.
‘I just helped you see that you were worth waymore than how you’d been treated. But anyway,’ Esme glanced at her, ‘carry on.’
Thea nodded. ‘OK, Alex?’
He was keeping step alongside them, but he still looked pale. ‘I’m OK. I’m sorry this has happened, though.’
‘It’s not your fault,’ Thea said. ‘It’s not anyone’s fault except mine.’ She shook her head. ‘So. My dream. My bookshop by the sea. I’ve been planning it for years. Putting away some of my salary each month in a separate account. I’d like to move here – to Cornwall, for sure, but to Port Karadow if I can. Alex has been helping with my business plan, with some of the practicalities I was clueless about. And while I’ve been here, I’ve looked at a couple of possible locations for it.’
There was silence from her friend. The cries of seagulls, sounds of cars driving through the town, the hollow clunk of boats in the harbour, filled the space she left. And then, ‘So itistrue. You’ve been secretly planning this all along?’
‘Notsecretly,’Thea tried. ‘I just didn’t want to tell you until I was sure—’
‘But you told Alex. He’s been helping you.’
‘He surprised me when I was working on my business plan, then coaxed it out of me. I asked him not to mention it to you.’
‘I’m sorry, Es,’ Alex said.
Esme shook her head. ‘You weregoingto tell me though, right Thea?’
‘I was going to tell you on this holiday,’ Thea said. ‘I thought having all that time together, away from the library, would give me a chance to explain everything. Then you could have come to the shop viewings and helped me decide.’
‘You could have told me before,’ Esme said quietly. ‘Then none of this would have happened.’
‘I wanted to, but it always felt like there was so much in the way of it actually being real. If I’d told you and then it fell apart, I would have been mortified.’
‘Why?’
‘What?’
‘Whywould you have been mortified if it didn’t work out? Do you think I would have laughed at you? Or do you think I might have sympathised, then helped you find a way around whatever the problem was?’
‘I know you would have helped,’ Thea said, feeling chastised.
‘And I know you know it, but sometimes you don’tactlike you know it. And then to tell Alex but not me! A girl could get very hurt, especially when she discovers her best friend has been planning to move away for years.’ She huffed. ‘You realise we’re going to have to come up with an iron-clad plan for staying in touch: for visits and FaceTime and probably letters, too, once you’re living here?’
Relief flooded Thea’s system at Esme’s teasing tone, at her acceptance. She looked over at her friend. The confusion was gone, but she still seemed uncomfortable.
‘We’ll come up with the most foolproof plan possible,’ Thea said. ‘And I know it was wrong to confide in Alexand not you, but Alex had all the goods: the financial knowledge, experience about which formal, business-y questions to ask.’
‘I am pretty hot at business-y stuff,’ Alex said, his voice still sandpaper.
‘You are.’ Thea squeezed his arm. ‘I am so, so sorry Esme – that I didn’t tell you myself.’ She swallowed, knowing she needed to ask the next question, but also dreading it. ‘Was it … Ben?’
Esme sighed. ‘We were just chatting. I said how pretty the harbour was, that it was a lovely town, and he said I’d have to come and visit you lots once you’d moved here. And I was dumbfounded. I thought – I thought he was confused, but I was worried, because it also sounded so plausible, and I went on the defensive. Even when Alex tried to talk me down.’
‘I could see it all going wrong,’ he chipped in. ‘It was like a slow-motion car crash and I couldn’t stop it.’
