Page 101 of The Happy Hour
‘You know the thing with Edie and Graeme?’
‘Your mum and dad?’
‘Yes. The thing that I overheard?’
‘Your mum lamenting the fact that you weren’t close to them? That you had chosen to be by yourself almost from the moment they adopted you?’
Jess sighed. It had never made sense to her, that her mum would say that to a neighbour. It had seemed much more likely that she was telling Celine she didn’t have those strong emotional ties to Jess. It had fed into what she’d always told herself.
‘I know you think that everyone’s just waiting to get rid of you—’
‘Ash Faulkner is a case in point.’
‘Don’t be flippant. I think he was wrong, and I think you were, too, for not fighting for him. But that isn’t what we’re talking about – though I think it would help if you hadn’t decided you weren’t worth anything.’
‘I knowyoudon’t want to get rid of me.’
Lola rolled her eyes. ‘You’re worth a lot, Jess. But you should be worth something to yourself, first, and I don’t think you believe you are, which is why you so readily interpreted what you heard the way you did. Have you ever spoken to Edie and Graeme about how you feel?’
‘No.’
‘Talk to them. Just one time, try and be honest with them. Let them in, even if it’s just a smidgen.’ She held her thumb and index finger up, a small space between them.
‘I suppose.’
‘Put a bit more welly in it.’
‘I could talk to them,’ she said firmly.
‘But are yougoingto? There’s a whole lot of distance betweencouldandwill.’
‘Right. Iwilltalk to them. I100per centpromise.’
There was a pause, then Lola shrieked.
Jess put a hand to her chest. ‘What the fuck?’
‘You’reactuallylistening to me about this, after all this time?’
‘Maybe,’ Jess said. Maybe everything that had happened with Ash was finally waking her up to what was important, and the risks you had to take to get it.
‘You won’t regret it, I promise.’ Lola pulled her into a hug.
Jess accepted it, rolling her eyes over her friend’s shoulder. But she was comforted by Lola’s kindness. Between this, her sadness over Ash, and getting her to devote her self-promotion plan to helping Enzo, Jess wouldn’t have been surprised if Lola had had enough of her, but there wasn’t any suggestion that that was the case. And she had asked for her advice, so it would be stupid to ignore it. She thought of all the times Edieand Graeme –her mum and dad– had tried to get closer to her, andshe’d held them coolly at arm’s length. They had never given up on her, which had to mean something.
‘Tell me your plans for world domination,’ Jess said. ‘Any record company offers for the Misfits? Any live performances planned beyond Felicity’s house sale?’
‘Don’t you mean Felicity’s party? There’s going to be a band, food, themed areas. I wouldn’t be surprised if Roger brought some illegal hooch along, to give out under the table.’ Lola grinned, and Jess burst out laughing.
‘The thought of Roger doing anything slightly frowned upon, let alone actually illegal, is too twisted, Lols.’
‘I know. Spade did say something the other day about a real propergig, man.’ She affected the rocker’s accent for a couple of beats. ‘But you know how enthusiastic he gets. It might mean he’s found us a good busking spot in front of theCutty Sark.’
‘He’s got all the contacts,’ Jess pointed out. ‘It might actually be something.’
‘It might. I’m happy, though.’
‘You are?’
