Page 60 of The Happy Hour
Ash stood and picked up the nearest thing. It was a green cool bag, the National Trust logo sewn onto the front. ‘Is this for picnics?’
Felicity nodded. ‘But it... the lining is damaged. I put a knife in it one time, and it sliced clean through. But it could be mended, do you think? It seems a shame to throw it away.’
Ash took his time examining the bag. ‘You know, I think this might be beyond repair. We could put it to one side, see if you have any others? But if it were me, I might well decide that I’d used it enough, that it was time to let it go.’
Felicity looked anxious. ‘Are you sure?’
‘It’s your decision,’ he said. ‘We could come back to it later?’
‘Oh yes, I... I think we should...’ As she spoke, Ash stuck his finger through a hole that went all the way through the bag. ‘Oh!’ She pressed her hands to her cheeks when Ash waggled two fingers through it, a goofy grin on his face. ‘Oh, of course let’s not keep it!’ She laughed, and this time it sounded genuine.
‘Where shall I put it?’ Ash asked, and Jess decided he was the most patient person in the world.
‘I just...’ She looked over at Jess, her expression pleading.
Jess turned an equally pleading, though she hoped more subtle, gaze on Ash. His smile was barely there, his nod tiny, but she felt his approval, felt as if shecouldhelp, if he thought she could.
‘Why don’t we make a pile by the front door?’ she suggested. ‘Then Ash and I could take the things you don’t need any more when we go.’ On their way here, just before they’d reached Felicity’s road, Jess had noticed a double garage, the concrete space in front of it containing a clothes bank, a cardboard bin and a general waste bin. She thought that, if Felicity agreed to get rid of anything, then it should go as quickly as possible, or it would get subsumed back into the house.
‘If you’re sure,’ Felicity said.
‘We’re happy to help,’ Ash said lightly, and handed Jessthe damaged bag. She took it into the hallway, then opened the front door and put it on the porch. One item down, she thought, as she watched a bee fly lazily to a tangle of white roses, their petals sparkling with raindrops, that were creeping up the side of Felicity’s house.
When she got back to the living room, Ash was holding a mug with a large chip in the lip. At this rate, it would take thirty years to go through everything. But, perhaps, if they helped give Felicity the confidence to do it, things might get a little bit easier, a little bit quicker, over time.
An hour had passed, leaving only half an hour until Ash needed to go wherever he went, and Jess had to get back to the shop. They had made decisions about a dozen things, and Felicity had agreed that she no longer needed seven of them. Ash was being unwaveringly patient, and Jess was battling a surge of feelings for him that were almost as overwhelming as the piles of clutter in Felicity’s house.
‘What about this?’ He picked up a purple blanket made of a soft, fleecy material. It was crumpled, and he shook it out then began folding it, tucking it under his chin so he could reach the bottom corners.
Jess stepped forward to help, but he’d worked quickly, and she knew she was being hopeless. Still, he flashed her a smile, then turned his attention to Felicity.
‘My husband bought that for me,’ she said, her uncertainty replaced by steeliness. ‘About a week before he left.’
‘Oh,’ Jess said. ‘I’m so sorry, Felicity. That must have been awful.’ But – alongside sympathy – she felt a wave of relief. It explained so much, her being abandoned by the man she loved. Couldn’t something like that trigger behaviour like this? The urge to hold onto things? If youdecidedto be on your own, if you were in charge of your solitude, then this wasn’t destined to be your fate.
‘He was an ambitious man,’ Felicity told them. ‘He wanted to go everywhere, seeeverything, meet new people all the time. He was a whirlwind of outlandish ideas, and I couldn’t keep up. I never truly felt a part of his plans.’
‘That’s terrible—’ Jess started, but then she glanced at Ash. He’d gone perfectly still, and was staring at the blanket in his hands. His chest rose on an inhale, and she was about to go over to him when he looked up. His expression was blank, his lips pressed into a thin line.
‘Ash? Are you—’
‘Could I have some water, Felicity?’ he asked, speaking over Jess.
‘Of course. The kitchen’s at the end of the hall.’
Ash held the blanket out for Jess, catching her eye for barely a second. When she took it he slipped past her, and she could hear the slow, soft pad of his Vans as he manoeuvred down the narrow walkway in the corridor.
Jess tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. ‘This is soft,’ she murmured, because she couldn’t think what else to say.
Felicity’s gaze was sharp. ‘You should go and check that he’s all right. I would wager that he’s not, and that he wants you there.’
‘You can’t know that.’ Jess wondered how Felicity could be so astute about other people, and still have got herself into this disastrous state.
‘Go and hug him, Jessica. He might not want to talk, but that was a man who needed a hug, if ever I saw one.’
‘OK.’ Her voice sounded pathetically small.
She handed Felicity the blanket and crept down the crammed corridor, into the kitchen with its Russian doll army and a million other things. She saw Ash through the window, standing next to the water feature with his back to the house.
