Page 98 of The Happy Hour
‘Will we stay in touch?’ she asked. ‘We could still message sometimes, couldn’t we?’
‘Sure,’ he said, then cleared his throat.
‘I keep thinking of all these new subtle superpowers. The motivational quotes, they’re everyone’s now, but I feel like... the superpowers, they’re just ours. I wanted to tell you, but—’
‘You can always tell me,’ he assured her. ‘We’ll build a list.’
‘Keeping house plants alive,’ she said.
‘Never burning toast, even in an unfamiliar toaster.’
‘Knowing, without a doubt, that someone will beyourperson, even though you’ve never spoken to them, and you’ve only seen them through a window, laughing and trying on hats.’
She glanced at him, and found that he was already looking at her. Her cheeks were damp but she didn’t care. Ash was one of the few people she wasn’t ashamed to cry in front of.
He brushed one of her tears away with his thumb. ‘Being able to deliver the city’s best film tour, even though you’ve only seen half the films, simply because you’re wearing a grey trilby.’
Her laugh was watery. ‘You only pulled it off because of Dave the spaniel. Otherwise it would have been a total flop. Apart from the kiss at the end.’
‘Apart from the kiss,’ he agreed. His smile was as broken as she felt. ‘I have had an amazing time with you, Jessica Peacock. Please don’t ever underestimate yourself.’
‘Thank you for spending time with me, and for helping Felicity, and just...’ She inhaled, knowing she was on the verge of losing it. ‘For being you, and letting me share your youness.’
He squinted. ‘Share youryouness?’
She laughed again, this time through sobs. ‘Shut up, Ash.’
His grin was so unexpected, such a strong reminder of the happy hours she’d had with him, that she almost couldn’t breathe. If this had been a different time, under different circumstances, she knew they could have loved each other.
‘You’ve changed me,’ she admitted. ‘For the better. I won’t forget you, OK? And I’ll message you my subtle superpowers, and we’ll... still know each other, a little bit. Text friends.’
‘Text friends,’ he repeated, but this time his smile didn’t reach his eyes, and she already knew that, even if they started out messaging each other, he’d slowly extricate himself, leave longer gaps between replies, until there was nothing but digital dust on their WhatsApp thread.
He moved to get up, and Jess felt a surge of panic. ‘Will you be OK?’
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘This is life, isn’t it? I’ve hit a speed bump, and it’ll take me a while, but I’ll get over it eventually.’ He sounded resolute, and she wondered if he was putting on the show for her, or for himself.
He stood up, and she went to do the same, but he leaned over and cupped her cheek, then pressed a kiss against her forehead. ‘Bye, Jess.’
She inhaled, hiccuped, but couldn’t hold in the sob. ‘Bye Ash.’
He slid his hand through her hair, then stood up straight. ‘Take care of yourself.’
She watched him turn and walk away, his head down,his long strides hurried. She waited for him to glance over hisshoulder and wave at her, to change his mind and come racing back along the path, fall in the scrubby grass at her feet and pull her against him. They hadn’t even hugged. She hadn’t got to press her cheek against his chest one last time, or feel his arms tighten around her, and the realisation intensified the ache, made her tears fall faster, her sobs louder.
‘Oh goodness!’
Jess looked up at the woman wearing a sky-blue jacket, a long, full skirt, and tried to place her through her film of tears. Then she heard yapping, and a familiar cloud of white fur was bouncing up at her, its nose snuffling against her carton of gyozas.
‘Diamanté,’ she said.
‘Are you OK?’ The woman peered down at her. ‘I am so sorry about my dog. I’ve been taking her to behavioural training, but it’s done bugger all so far, as you can see.’
Jess bubbled out a laugh. ‘Can I hold her?’ Her voice broke on the last word, and the woman’s eyes softened.
‘Of course,’ she said. ‘She’s a yapper, but she doesn’t bite.’
‘Thank you.’ Jess bent down and picked up the wriggling dog. She held her against her chest, and buried her head in her soft fur. After a moment, Diamanté stopped struggling.
